Their suffering.

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It is most difficult to have to watch her suffer so much. I find it disturbing that society refuses to let animals suffer but will let humans go thru horrendous suffering without a second thought. I could adjust to her dying easier if I didn't have to sit by an watch her suffering with her asking me to help and I can't do any thing for her legally.
She doesn't deserve to suffer this badly it is cruel to attend to suffering and not approve of that process.


offer it up to Jesus, he uses it to save souls, that's what i do. at least this way it goes to good use. 'can't do any thing for her legally', i'm in the same situation. at some point we just have to accept that our loved ones made some mistakes that we can't fix. my mother could have easily named me on some of her legal documents, she let her alcoholic husband and absentee son influence her into nailing me to a cross. now she's got a corpse taking care of her, which is fine, i really don't mind.
Actually I have that kind of legal rights I was talking about the fact that people will put a horse down if it breaks a leg or pets being euthanized so they don't suffer but there is nothing for humans who are suffering. That is inhumane. Animals have more rights not to have to suffer than humans.
I can not stand to watch her suffer and not able to help her. She has stopped eating to speed up the end process. So now on top of it all she's now refusing to eat and starving herself. Ive been around dying and death but so much harder when its my mother.
i guess that's what i was trying to say. it comes down to a religious issue, not a medical one. i am going thru the same thing myself here. meaning my mother was trying to starve herself to death, food and water both, i am Catholic, it is a mortal sin for me to sit here and do nothing. i checked her in to a psychiatric hospital for treatment. she got diagnosed with major depressive disorder on top of dementia. what that tells me is she's not in her right mind. if she was in her right mind would anyone be trying to kill themself? i think not. i don't believe in euthanasia even to reduce suffering, but if you read the Catechism of the Catholic Church it explains a lot better than i can what the limits are as pertains to extraordinary measures to prolong life. if i were in your situation i would read up on 'extraordinary measures' to see if your case can be described as such, then get a second opinion. euthanasia, my understanding is it's legal in some states but not all. if you happen to be living somewhere that doesn't recognize it as legal you could be held responsible for her actions.
And I understand your position. I have been 100% caregiver for 15 years of both my grandmother and my mother so they would never have to go to a rest home. But my brother who is oldest is executer of the finances. Not that it really matters but he only started visiting her after I insisted that since he was retired he should spend time with her so he graciously gave two Wednesdays a month and drove an hour and 15 mins to come see her. Wow !!! Really?? Then only stayed 3-4 hours ea visit. Yet thinks he can tell me what should or shouldn't be done with her? So ....needless to say....this is my house he is a visitor in my eyes not a care giver of any kind. Its not going to be easy I can see already the problems that are coming.
my brother is in SC, only sibling. he is POA, expired due to new FL law that went into effect 2011, he did nothing to update, i tried, my mother refused to pay for it, so there is no POA currently in effect.

health care surrogate is my brother. he hasn't even seen my mother for four years. it's a joke. now he says lock her up. based on what?

there is a trust, which has a poison pill loophole for the attorney. anybody complains about any of this, he takes all my parent's assets, i move to the gutter.

thank you for listening. please keep in touch here. it's a lonely job, to say the least. as i keep saying, for all practical purposes i've been dead for years.

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. It is awful to watch a parent decline at such a rapid pace. I watched my dad go through it. Do you have hospice? We had hospice for my dad and between the morphine and the Ativan he had no idea what was going on. He wasn't even awake those last few days.

Many people feel as you do, including me. Someone whose body is plagued by disease and whose mind is riddled with dementia and yet they go on, day after day, while the family disintegrates from stress or dysfuction. It's obscene.

I hope you have hospice. They will make the suffering of you and your loved one much more bearable.

I too am sorry you are going through this. I also agree with you it is extremely inhumane.

Please get in touch with hospice.

They were very helpful to mom and I. She passed away in July under their care, they kept her comfortable and were very good at explaining to me what was happening.

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