The funny things they say.

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There's a thread on this but I can't find it, so here's your giggle for the day. Recently there's a new resident in the NH, Peter, and he's a wanderer but totally harmless. When he first arrived he entered her room after dark and scared the living daylights out of her.

When I visited yesterday it looked like she was having a small stroke. Unable to get the words out properly, instead of saying "I think I'm having a stroke" she said "I think I'm having an affair". I said oh dear, have you been chasing Peter up the hall again? That made us both chuckle and brought her back to reality for a few minutes.


tried to get aunt edna to breathe vics recently to break up phlegm.she said " well it cant kill me " to which i elbowed her shoulder and said " what if it does ? . " we both had a hearty laugh at how shes been cheating death for 89 years..
Like yesterday she said she'd pass soon and I said ok, when you do I'll come eat all the chocolates I've brought you. The stage she's at every little chuckle helps a bit.
Mom is having a little trouble finding her room at Assisted Living. I told her "Well if you go in the wrong room you might get lucky." which she thought was hilarious.
Mom and I were discussing my upcoming trip to Trump Plaza and I said something like, If I meet Donald I'm going to give him a haircut. Her reply (My straight laced, Irish catholic Mom)............Just don't give him a BLOW JOB! She meant Blow DRY!
lol, boni
watched a comedy act one time by bill maher. he was discussing lewinsky and clinton. he said hed met clinton and the man just smacked of power and charisma. maher said, " my god, another ten minutes and idda f****d him. lol
"Did you give me $300?". "No, you must have dreamed it". "Oh, that's good, because I can't find it".
Okay, a good one tonight. My mother goes crazy with spray cans. I have to keep cleaners away from her. Tonight a strong smell of orange permeated my room. I knew she had been spraying the new Scrubbing Bubbles. I went to investigate. "There was a roach," she said. I told her that what she sprayed was a foaming bathroom cleaner.

"Well, it's clean now."

I didn't ask what was clean. I had this vision of having a shiny clean, citrus-scented roach running around somewhere.
Mother said, "did you go to the crematory? Were there a lot of people?"
"No, why?"
"Because I was supposed to be there. I had an appointment!"
"Mom, you're not dead yet."
(considering that...) "Oh...Ok then."
For her abscess, we had to go to the infectious disease clinic, which had a poster about VD on the wall. She started talking loudly about VD, saying to me, "do you have that? you'd better do something about it, those symptoms can be awful, it's really serious!" "No, I don't have that," I said. "You don't? then who does? I know somebody does.." and she started naming family members. For the first and only time, I was compelled to say, "Oh Hush Up!"
Sister and I went to see mom she did not know who we were and got upset, so we left the room. We were standing in hall crying when we heard her tell the nurse( Who are those people? They said they were my daughters! my girls are young and pretty , those are fat old women!) She knew us the next day

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