The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Started by
Read More


notlike - not much fun to be with - My youngest son and I took mother to the Rockies as she hadn't seen them for years. Mother and I went out for morning walks and she complained and complained about this and that the whole time. It was a miserable trip and I swore I would never do it again. All this beauty around, and I don't know that she even saw it. Such a shame.

" I'm getting better at not feeling that way, but it's not easy. She makes it sound so logical her way and there's no arguing with her."
Oh yes, The rings a bell! Everything sounds so logical, but if you step back, and look at the bigger picture, it isn't.

jessie - too - It isn't you, it is them, but we are so conditioned from childhood to think it is our fault and that we are responsible for their happiness.

jonath - welcome and please do share with us how you became immune. I am sure it took some work. Good for you for staying on your own path in life. What is a whole woman anyway? We can talk physical, emotional etc. I have known some people who were not physically or mentally whole. but were emotionally whole.

brandy (((((hugs)))) I know it is hard with your own pain, your husband's decline, and your mum and then a bossy sister on top of that. Hope you find some ways to make it easier for you and draw some boundaries with your sis and mum. It must drag you down.

We are in the throes of mother and my sister (main gopher - her turn this time) organizing a birthday party for mother, and mother asking 3 people to do the same thing, but not informing the others. It ends up with confusion and hurt feelings. I have seen this before, so did some checking with a relative and we are sorting one part out behind the scenes. I have had 5 emails today with variations of the same request (demand) and more will come. Thankfully, I am detached. And all of this has to be done immediately, if not sooner. I have flu, and an infection and get coughing spells, so this is not a good time for me to be on the phone much. I haven't even mentioned it because things like that don't sink in. - the way it always has been.

My theme song is "I will survive!"

love and hugs everyone ♥
Good morning, how is everyone doing today?
The bigger question is how are you and your wife today, cmag?
Waiting for the news, at the earliest on Wednesday is getting very tough for my wife. She keeps going over and over the biopsy itself plus everything she's read online. I'm listening and being supportive.
I know there has to be a lot of hope and dread. If it is cancer, then the next few months will be hard. If it is, I hope they get all of it and that it never comes back. I am glad that you are there with her, cmag.
yes ((((((hugs)))) to you both. This must be a very difficult time. There must be a great lonelineess for her in facing what she is facing. Your support will be unvaluable,
Thanks Jessie and emjo. I'm feeling rather lonely myself. My anxiety is showing itself in eating too much, plus some of my comfort food are not that healthy. I was going to meet with my new psychiatrist on Monday, but that is a holiday. Well, that leave my appointment with my present psychiatrist appointment on Monday for he is not celebrating that holiday like others are. He's on a crusade to see me lose down to 135 lbs which is insane. I've not been 135 since I was jr. high school. I was 165 when I got married. When I was doing power lifting in my early forties, I weighed 226. I have weighed in the 250's or so up and down a little for the past 10 years which have been full of a lot of stress. Frankly, I think there is some interaction going on between my 10+ prescriptions that I am on which is contributing to my not feeling rested when I get up and lethargic to the point that I just don't have that much energy and can fall asleep during the day at almost any time.
I suppose you are, cmag. You have much hanging over you. I think a goal of 135 lbs is insane too. Maybe 165 ~. I think choosing impossible goals is a set up for failure, and no one who is trying to lose lbs needs that lind of discouragement. Hopefully your new psychiatrist will be better in that regard and in others.
hugs and prayers

There has to be some interaction between all the drugs you are on and also side effects. Most antidepressants cause weight gain, and the lethargy likely is a side effect.
I think it best to handle one major stressor at a time. You and your wife have a lot on your plate right now. To me it is the thing that has to be dealt with right now. Unless something else is life threatening, I think it is fine to put it on the back burner. I don't mean to overeat, but just not to worry about reaching the extreme goal. Too much stress can be as bad or worse than too much weight. So enjoy some comfort food as long as it isn't too much. You'll know when it is time to concentrate more on losing weight.

Ten medicines sounds like a lot for anybody. It would even be a chore to take them! I don't know what they are all for, but I guess if your doctor prescribed them, he/she must have known why. I am never afraid to question the logic of doctors, though. Even the best ones can over-prescribe at times.
My primary physician thinks 190 is a more realistic goal for me right now at 5ft 7. He has me on singulair, flonase, a diuretic, sodium and metformin along with the suppliment Omega 3. Now that zyrtec with D is no longer a prescription drug, I take it also to help with my allergies. My endocrinologist has me on androgel plus the following suppliments, i.e. Calcium Citrate with D, multivitim, and extra vitamin D. My psychiatrist has me on wellbutrin, abilify, nuvigil, and lamictal. My skin doctor has me on two meds also. I use my sleep apnea machine every night.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support