The aid ruined everything!

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Today I fired an aid who allowed my mother to go to bed without dinner.
She "went to bed" at 4pm- but I know it was to avoid the girl.
After I heard her fighting over the door and saying harshly 'NO!" I tried calling the place to no avail.
Now, she is combative for the first time with a woman who she got along with SO well, wants her out of the apt. and just now kicked her! She thinks she is the other girl!! One aid can ruin it for everyone. I called the Dr. just incase it is a UTI.. waiting for call-back.

8 Comments

Mica393, I see by your profile that your Mother had Alzheimer's/Dementia, and that other past postings that your Mom had run away twice, thus can be difficult due to her illness.

I can figure out how an Aide ruined everything? As you know with someone with such memory issues, it is very hard to anyone to make a Dementia patient do something they don't want to do. Why was it the Aide's fault?

Honestly, from your past postings I think it is time for another layer of care for your Mom, like in a memory care unit. If you feel your Mom cannot afford to do that, then check with Medicaid as they can help her out with the cost.
^^^ sorry, should read "I can't figure out how an Aide ruined everything".
yes, I am in the (hopeful) process of getting her in a nice place.
in the meantime I had to
hire two aids who have been wonderful. She needs 24hr care, and two people doing that was too much, so they put on a younger girl.
Mother was afraid of her immediately, wanted her out, but I couldnt contact company and as the weekend went on it became worse. The girl was combative and yelled at her NO! mother is a mess today thinking this nice regular aid is that other girl. omg, she even kicked her=totally out of character.
Dr doesnt think it is UTI
sorry not to be clear enough, things were going great until the young aid who doesnt know how to care for ALZ people ruined it for the aids who had established good relationship with mother- now they have to start all over again because she thinks they are all mean, doesnt know i got rid of the mean one
Would it help to say something like "oh, isn't it so nice we have our friend mary here to help us instead of that mean old rachel, I'm glad she's not coming back" when the aide arrives, just to get her properly oriented again? And reinforcing that this is the "nice one we like" not the "mean one who isn't coming back" whenever she gets agitated?
Mica, there is no way for anyone to be a 24 hour caregiver. That is why nursing homes have the Staff work 8 hours and go home to rest for the next day, while the 2nd shift comes in, then later the 3rd shift comes in. Even a 12-hour shift can be quite exhausting for someone dealing with an elder who has memory issues.
Yes, 24hr was too long, that is why they got another on in so it was six hours each during day when she was awake.
omg yes, I said she was my friend, and whispered to mom that I got rid of the mean one... She didnt believe me :O
I am TRULY hoping this is over, I think she has calmed down now.
Just felt SO bad for the regular aid, and for mom to go through this.
( the aid is going to wear her blond wig tomorrow, we think her black one makes her look too much like the other one. ) Yep, you never know.
I told her we have to start from scratch.
oops I meant 12hr each then down to six

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