Oh thanks friend... gees.

Started by

i have a friend i have known since my nursing school days 1986 . she believes in karma and feels this is some sort of karmic thing i have to endure because of my faults in a past life. that my sister died because she full filled her time and karam on earth ( which is true , she was a awesome person and my nest friend. my sister died qug 10 , 2013 of sudden cardiac death at age 49 years old) . i am my mother's only caregiver and i am all she has , my brother is useless and offers no help . he lives out of state , even better for him. anyway she thinks this is something i must endure and learn from. i just thought i must of been really bad in a past life to endure this.. what do you think of this thinking? have you ever thought of this? i haven't until now .


Good grief this post looks like i''m a crazy person... it just struck me as weird when she said that .. which made me feel worse , because if i do decide to put mom in a asissted living home am i gonna have to do this again? ooooh nooooooo noooo
I have a boulder in my garden, and laser carved in it is the word "NOTHING". I told my kids "Nothing is carved in stone. No matter how GOOD life is, no matter how BAD life is, it will always change." So nothing is wrong with you, or your karma, chi, spirit or angel. Yin and Yang. Darkness and Light. The key to survival is to not get stuck in one place. Keep moving.
oh you always give good advice and make me feel better. thank you so much . i am so relieved. i'm pretty alone in this battle and never sure if i'm doing the right thing. thank you soo much .. if i could hug you i would .. i'm glad i'm ok ..i thought i must have been a horrible selfish person at one time and now it's my turn to learn. .. i've always been a good person and my mom has lived with me for over 15 yeears i have always put her first . ,, thank you
Pam, I *love* that idea of the stone with "nothing" on it. I may have to get one of those!
Some people believe in karma, in reincarnation, in purgatory, in angels, in ... well lots of things. Honor your own beliefs.

My SIL once told me that God never gives you more than you can handle. I said, "Oh, poor Coy! He should certainly have married a different woman." She hastened to assure me that she knew I was strong and capable and would handle whatever came my way." I said, "Yes, but if Coy had married a weaker person who couldn't handle his care, then God would not have given him dementia!"

I guess it generally annoys me when people assume their beliefs apply to my life, and feel perfectly entitled to tell me about them. I'm afraid I would not have very polite to your friend. She can apply her karma theories to her own life and much as she likes. I'd draw the line at listening to her interpret my life according to her beliefs. She is perfectly welcome to her thoughts about it, but I don't have to listen to them!

You will learn from your caregiving experience. We all do.
Pam, I love it!

ohmeowzer, new age type friends can make you crazy. Normally they're supportive, but sometimes they say stuff like this. The trouble is that the hypothesis that you are paying your karmic debt is not testable in this worldly realm. Can you imagine how crazy life would get if we lived for a past life that we don't even know about?
Hmmm... thinking of it like this. Can you imagine how crazy life would get if we lived for a FUTURE life that we don't know about. Yikes.
I am a big believer in the idea that you have to live in the here and now and not worry too much about past errors. Life is for the living; God gave us brains to figure things out. Just because something is difficult does not make it good for us, or for the poor patient! Do what is best for your mom.
thank you all !! you made me feel much better ! i agree totally ,, some people just make life worse and more complicated. i also had a friend tell me that my sister who died is no longer my sister because she will be reincarnated...omgggg i am under enough stress ughhhhhhhhh i just listen and say ah huh and think my sister will always be my sister ... ughhhhhhh i miss her so much i cry myself to sleep and wake up crying. she was my best friend and i miss her ,,, people are so callous ...
Dear Oh; be good to yourself. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support