Thankful for this site.

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Can I just take a moment to thank all the people who come to this site making it what it is? When I first went on the internet a few years ago having tons of questions about how to handle things dealing with my grandma back when my mom was still alive, the search I did sent me here. I went to the site hesitant at first wondering how a website maintained mostly by other caregivers, could really help me. Then I started to read the discussions and questions and realized it was what I was dealing with. I wasn't really alone in this. It's been a blessing to be able to come here, search for a topic, or write out a topic and have so many people write on it making me realize I am not really alone in such a great task of caring for a grandma with severe dementia. So even though we are in February, I'm downstairs in the basement hiding while my caregiver cares for my grandma during the 2 hour break I get each day, I'm feeling thankful for you guys!


littlemisskitty - I too, am immensely grateful for this site and all the wonderful, caring people who frequent here. I hope I don't have a case of "misery loves company" but knowing that I'm not alone - that no matter the subject, someone here has been through it and understands exactly how I feel, has made a huge difference in my ability to cope.
This site has been a godsend for me when I first became involved in my mothers needs. She has been gone almost two years, but I still come here daily to read the comments and occssionally answer a post.
I just found this site and although I know "misery loves company", that's not what I'm seeking. I know my friends and family are getting tired of being my soundboard dealing with my mom. They all say the say thing to me: that she's not going to change; it's only going to get worse and I need to learn how to deal with it. I fluctuate between tears, resentment, anger, frustration, guilt and resolve to be the good, loving Christian daughter I should be. Those who don't live or know my mom all think she is "so sweet". She plays the sweet, little old lady card to the hilt. The sad thing is, she's done that so long and so well it's really who she is! It's not like it's intentional (even though my husband disagrees, saying she does it because she gets what she wants and wants to be queen bee at all times). Daddy died just a year ago, so we now have all the idiosyncratic personality issues exacerbated by grief, depression, illness, aches and pains and weight loss verging on starvation. Daddy was a saint! I don't want my retirement years to be spent in a state of constant aggravation being caretaker to someone who desperately needs it yet doesn't want it and is intermittently resentful and appreciative. I also don't want my mom to die and look back on these last few years of conflict and wind up feeling regret and guilt. Just getting a load off my chest.
LaraLu, You are entitled to Your life too. Being all the things you want to be to your Mum must not turn you into a doormat.
Believe me (please) I've had a lifetime being walked on/over and now I have a career change (@59) I'm not a doormat or a PLP, piece of lavatory paper/public leaning post. I am though a caring, compassionate, loving person, who makes a great friend. I've learnt that how I see myself reflects how I present myself and in turn how others perceive me.
Go for it LaraLu show yourself and the world how lovely you are :~)
Kitty, same here. This website has been the education that I needed to deal with my aging parents. Prior I had no clue on what to do, and I was doing it all wrong.

I really wish everyone who has parents that are approaching that elderly stage where they are just starting to need help, would come here to read. Otherwise, we don't seek help until we are caught up with the situations, not knowing what to do.

Also too bad we can't get our aging parents to come here to read to see if they see themselves in any of these situations, thus saying to themselves "am I doing that?"
That's how I ended up here too. I was so desperate for help and was just trying to process everything going on with my parents and lack of help from my brother. During various web searches, I found this about a year ago and this place has become an online family to me. When I first came I thought wow a lot of people have these problems, but the more I stayed around, it really dawned on me A LOT of people have the same challenges that I do or substantially worse than me even now.

And that's what I'm most grateful for. It's the many people here who give me a reality check, offering perspective and support into my situation and attitude without even knowing it.
Ditto.. I was a lost caregiver.. I knew nothing about dementia but now I know more than I want. Lol..

It's sooo nice to know there are others who deal with the same daily issues.. Hugs..
I'm on my own dealing with parents with all the elder issues. I learned about dementia and how to deal with it on this site. I was about ready to kill my Dad! Also it's been nice to hear the stories and methods of other "Lone Ranger" caregivers and other long distance caregivers.
Yesterday I visited my mom. Lately she's been very pleasant and agreeable but not yesterday. Three times she tried to gaslight me - I think that's the right term - she was going out of her way to get me upset and start an argument. Guess what? No reaction from me - zero! I could tell she was a bit puzzled as in the past she would has got me going on the first go as mom knows how to push my buttons like no one else. I completely credit you all and this site for my new found strength and patience in knowing what she's doing and how to handle it. Again - I am so grateful for this site! Thank you!

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