Thank you all my AgingCare online family. My 19 years of keeping an eye on my mom came to an end.

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3 years of it cost me my job. I chose to care for her rather than go back to my city hall job. Alzheimer's, osteoporosis, transient ischemic attack, vertigo, hip surgery, hearing loss, memory lapses, arthritis, etc. All of it gone for good. She's finally at in her real home and free from her wilted body. She's 81 years old. I will continue reading and posting my two cents worth now and then on this website. One day it will be my turn. I pray to God to spare me and my daughter the long-drawn battle of elderly care that can cost a daughter's career and freedom to come to a full stop and friends running away. My own caregiving story were almost 2 decades long. With the last 10 years full of hospital visits, emergencies, mobility issues, vacations cancelled, job promotion withheld, lost income, even finding time for romance and dating is simply impossible. I hope one day God will bless me with a good man as my husband. I'm a single parent with one daughter and earning a living, ensuring food on the table and caregiving occupied much of my waking hours. I hope now with more free time, I can first of all find my own self. I felt like I've lost it and I'm sometimes wondering how to occupy my time now that caregiving is deleted from my daily chores. :) LOL I thank you all for your lovely messages, your prayers and support. Thank you AgingCare members! Thank you for the nasty messages even if they were hurting but it gave me a view from the other side of the fence. There are those who berated me for asking for ways on how to shorten my mom. Years ago, I asked this question. I was just at my wit's end and need to vent my frustrations and anger. Of course, looking back at it now, I didn't actually have the courage to do it. I still miss my mom. There are moments I just find myself crying. But I cry more for the happiness I feel now, also the relief I am slowly enjoying, but most of all knowing she's in the best place she can be. As they say, no more pain. No more miseries. I love you mom with all my heart! Run freely and happily! Thank you each and everyone of you here!


sorry for typographical errors. my eyes blurry with tears while pounding the keyboard :) feeling emotional here. but happy that it's over. yesterday we had a small celebration at home for my mom, with prayers and food and drinks. my would surely love to have happy parties rather than crying spells. :) thanks everyone!
Well Done, mhmarfil. You have been a trooper, and your daughter, too. I remember you when I first came here 3 years ago. God Bless You for your faithfulness, your loyalty, and your sacrifices. Your Mom soars through the heavens now. Blessings to you and your daughter. xo
I am sending my sympathy for the loss of your mother. Please take time to grieve and cry. It's good for the soul. You and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mhmarfil, I am truly sorry for your loss, take time to rest and care for yourself. Your mom is at peace and an angel for caring for your mom. Your family is my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings to you, mhmarfil and your daughter. I am sure your Mom is smiling down upon you with all the graciousness and peace she may not have had in her weakened body.
May your new journey be a happy one. Please stay on the forum and help other s along the path you just finished. And be sure to take good care of yourself!!! And that beautiful daughter!! God bless!!!
mhmarfil I am so sorry for your loss, but Mom's in a better place and watching out for you and your daughter now. I understand that your at peace with your Mom's new journey, and relief of her discomfort she had to endure. All the things you gave up to care for your Mom in her need was really a blessing for you. This is what life is all about, you gave yourself in exchange for your Mom. I do not doubt that your Mom would have done anything for you if roles were reversed and now your daughter learned from you by witnessing your actions. Missing your Mom is natural and I find myself talking to loved ones that I have lost and... at risk of sounding off my rocker.... I think they help me from heaven because they know I'm doing Gods work on earth. Your words had a great effect on me because I sense you have no regret and have Peace in your heart and that is a point I try to make to other's who don't seem to understand that my actions are straight from my heart. I just hope they learn before it's too late. PEACE to you all!!!
mhmarfil, I don't know what to say except that I am sad and happy for you. Your mother is free from all the torment now. I know the one thing she will miss most is you. You were the best daughter you could be. My good wishes and hugs are with you and your daughter.
Thank you all for your good wishes and prayers. I'm slowly coping and recovering from my loss. My house seems quiet and suddenly a bit big for me and my daughter. There are still lots of clutter to clean and clear. To be honest, I don't know how to start. I seem to be lazy to move or decide and act. Yesterday my daughter and I sold some stuff to the junk yard. We need to do more and to hurry up before I return to my online work. I also need to do paper works to claim funeral benefits as money is becoming tight now. I still have some things to settle like the urn for my mom's ashes and other bills. Slowly working things out, enjoying the down time. Sending thanks to everyone by email, by Facebook, by Twitter, by text message and the best is to see them personally if I can to let them know I'm so thankful for their support and prayers. My mom's in the best of place and enjoying her real home with our Lord. Will stay in this forum as I like reading questions and answers. I told my daughter to be aware of elderly issues as the world is ageing fast and because she's an only child too. I tell her that I don't wish for her to suffer the same path I've been through and pray to God to spare us both the long ordeal of Alzheimer's and other elderly health problems. When it's my turn, I hope it will be quick and not burden me and the people around me. Wishing us all caregivers (those who are overwhelmed and those who "graduated") tons of patience, good health, very strong stamina to make it through each day, one step at a time. Stay healthy, stay sane, stay lucid, stay safe and don't forget to LAUGH AND CRY. Never forget humor, laugh, dance, do whatever to keep u sane and balanced. Keep on praying. One day you guys will "graduate" too. Thank you all. Hugs, kisses and prayers to all of us!
Mhmarfil, take it one day at a time! My best friend lost her mother last year after a 15 plus year battle. Her mom had a brain tumor that had the same effects as Alzheimer's. She took time to relax and breathe, now it has been almost a year and she is going through her mom's home so she can sell it. She is working on figuring out the next chapter in her life.

You did a wonderful deed in caring for your mom! As far as I am concerned you are an Angel living here on earth.

God bless you! Just take time to relax, sleep and smell the roses while you decide on the next chapter of your life.

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