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Happiness is the key to continued health. Living my home would be depressing and could very likely initiate a downward spiral. I want to stay on my 6-acre homestead, raising a garden, tending my fruit trees and slaughtering goats/chickens each year for my freezer.

Talking with others in a similar situation would be helpful for me; yet I don't see any group(s) especially designed for such elderly to talk with each other. Could one be set up; or if there is such a group, could someone tell me where it is?

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Hello Realtime,
I'm not computer literate so I'm not sure what you mean when you suggest we "...shift over to the 'discussion' section below the questions on this page?..." I'm certainly willing to move this discussion anywhere it would be more appropriate.

I came to live where I am by promising my mother she would never have to go to a nursing home. Mother had parkinsons disease, the job market was not good and neither of us had any significant amount of savings. In researching that debilitating disease, I discovered she would require 'round-the-clock-care in the latter stages of that illness. So I decided the only way I could keep my promise to mother was to set us up on a small piece of land where I could grow our own food. Mother bought one tract of land in the country comprised of 6 acres of uncleared land. We sold the largest trees to pay a man to doze off an area of it large enough to put in a well, a disposal system and set a trailer. A stranger GAVE me a trailer and I had it moved onto that tract of land. That was in 1995 and Mother died in 2008.

My grown son was in Arizona, lost his job, lost his house and found his fiance sleeping around. She broke his heart. When called and told me, I asked if he wanted to come live with me. He said yes; so I sent him money to come on. He stayed long enough to help me get the disposal system done and the trailer set up on Mother's tract of land, then he left. In late 1996 he called asking to return and I, of course, said he could but still reminded him the rules of my home would be the same as tey were when he had chosen to leave before, i.e. no drugs, no drunkeness & he had to be respectful in my home. He said ok so I sent him the money to return on.

To cut a very long and painful story short, I had to solicit the aid of the courts to get him to leave. He had taken up habits that were not only threatening his own life but was, also, endangering me. When he destroyed my computer I was so intimidated that I started carrying my purse around with me all the time and hiding things I could not afford to replace should he get angry at something I either said or did. A year or so later he got physical with me by grabbing my hand to stop me from eating some cooked meat he said he was saving for himself a sandwitch. In doing this, his elbow hit my chin and I knew then I had to do something before something worse occurred. That is when I got the court system involved.

My grown son whom I still love dearly and always will is no longer living in my home nor is he allowed to even come onto this tract of land. I am sleeping much better without nightmares. I'm having to do all the work around the place; but I had been doing 85% of it anyway. Thus, I am alone without family or close friends. (I do have a sister; however, when Mother was bedridden with parkinsons, this sister visited, tried to get Mother to believe Mother owed her $1,000 and, when couldn't, she left. Even when Mother died, I could not find this sister to let her know.)

I'm dealing pretty well with being alone. I keep having to remind myself I'm not to blame for what others do and that is my biggest challenge because my entire life I have blamed myself for most everything that occurred around me. So, the hardest part of living alone is dealing with my own cognitions as to why I am alone. At the same time, I really am enjoying being alone as, for the first time in my entire life, I only have myself to take care of. Permitting myself to be happy is a chore I work daily; however, I love dealing with my dairy goats and chickens. I have some pain in my right hip; still I planted 4 apple trees, a boysenberry plant, a goji bush and have 2 elderberry cuttings leafed out and ready to go into the ground.

I know I cannot work the 8Hp Troybilt Tiller nor can I work the 8Hp DR Field & Brush Mower; so I'm attempting to sell those. I've already lined up someone to bushhog the pastures and lined up another to spray those areas to kill the summer weeds. I'm feeling quite potent.

My son had been paying the ISP for the computer and the power bill; and with those being in his name, when he left my home, he cut those off. This meant I really had to hussle to get the power set up in my name without it being cut off for any length of time. I also was able to get an ISP; so was only without internet service for about a month. I am feeling quite potent!

Guess I need to apologize for this post being so long. It's been quite awhile since I was able to talk with anyone about my situation. That is why I really need a discussion group that will permit myself and people like me to vent when they need to, to get encouragement for not demeaning themselves and encouragement for being happy in their situation. Hope all this make sense.....
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To start with, we can talk to each other here, and move if we find a more appropriate forum. Maybe we should shift over to the "discussion" section below the questions on this page? I remember your earlier post and wonder how you came to live where you do, the way you do. Was this a lifestyle decision you made back when you were living a different kind of life? I'm alone only in the sense that no one shares my home: my son and his family are nearby, I talk by phone regularly with other family members, I still go to work every day. (I'm 70.) I'm certainly not isolated the way you are. But I feel alone in many of my decisions and concerns. And I feel future incapacity looming over me. I'm up for sharing.
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