Taking care of a younger sister-in-law with alzheimers.
My husband and I are court appointed custodians and conservators of his 61 year old sister who has alzheimers. We are both 64. Her son filed the court papers to become custodian, but we counter filed because he was misappropiating her fund. He had his name put on her checking account then proceded to cash in her life insurance policy, IRA, and part of her 504. He then bought a car, wrote a huge check to his wife, used his mother's debit card daily, for his own personal use all to the amount of $60,000. He said he had an agreement with her to borrow $20,000 and the rest was none of our business because she said he could. Her daughter had also used her mother's debit card to the tune of 5,000 dollars. The son dropped his petition as soon as we counter filed. He has not talked to us or seen his mother since the court procedures 7 months ago. The daughter is in denial and to rarely contacts her mother. The son is spreading rumors about us to everyone. The daughter, when confronted, says I know I will see her more but never does. Our sister still is capable of living by herself, 15 minutes from us. She doesn't drive because she totaled her car, so we are her only means of transportation. My husband is legally blind so that means I have to drive everyone (including his 84 year old mother who no longer drives). It was his sister's choice to live by herself, and we honored that as the least restrictive. We call morning and night to have her take her medicine. I take her once a week for shopping and lunch. We also take her to dinner once a week. She is constantly complaining of being lonely and that she never goes anywhere. I substitute and have 2 children and 5 grandchildren that I want to spend time with. She resents us reminding her of anything even when if we don't she forgets. She gets nasty with my husband. It's been only 7 months but I don't think I can take her in to live with us and she is adamant about never going to a nursing home. Please advise. Thanks