I need help, I just realized that after taking care of mom so long, I am truly alone

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I have been taking care of my mom for 4 yrs now and I have noticed that I am truly alone here, no boyfriend or husband to support me, and taking it all with my sick mom, never got in a true relationship because I was abused and did not trust guys very much, and now with my mom saying again and again that because of my character I am alone I am beginning to believe it, I am 56 and my only true loves are my two dogs. Help


Join the lonely hearts club. I am in the same boat. My hubby and I broke up before I came here. My mother keeps pushing me to find another husband, but I just can't get the interest in looking. Besides, it is hard to do anything between the medicine sessions that happen every three hours. And talk about baggage! I've already decided I want to find some roommates and live like the Golden Girls when I retire from caregiving. That would be fun, like being in college again.
Lisabeth, it is NOT because of your character that you are alone! Don't you believe it. Have you had counselling about the abuse? I suggest that you get some counselling now, about your mother's current abuse in attacking your self esteem. This should not be the thanks you get for the sacrifices of caring for your mother. I suggest therapy not because there is something wrong with you that needs to be fixed, but because you deserve support in standing up to this new abuse.
Lisbeth, I think you need to evaluate your mother's motives for telling you such things. As long as she can keep you beat down and alone, she'll have you at her disposal. That's called a 'hidden agenda'. Don't fall for it. Get a babysitter and get yourself out there to meet PEOPLE. Doesn't have to just be looking for a husband, you need social interactions and the rest will come naturally. Find yourself a friend or two and go see a movie, dinner or a play. Good place to start is in church.
I am 54 y.o. widow x 3yrs.
But aside from that, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you find yourself friends, a life of your choosing, time for yourself even at Mom's. I am a prime example of a lonely woman. I lost all my friends(church, girlfriends, social gatherings and lots more) when I was diagnosed with several medical illnesses. My caregiving friends know some of my stuff. That said, you do not want to lose your health number one and lose yourself number 2. It all happens so fast. I struggle everyday taking care of my mom and disabled brother with the knowledge that i will be doing this for the rest of my life. It is a struggle.
Get out of that house. Go sit in your car and sing, take a nap, pray and watch people go by or something. Do something. Get yourself together and find something you like to do. Do not let your mom dictate to you how you feel, and why something is happening to you, that you are the reason that you have no friends for fellows. WHAT!! warning: you do not want to be me.
Peace, love and prayers to you caregiver warrior. Let me know what is going on with you.
I am trying to do other things in the house, since I cannot work outside, I am beginning to knit sweters and sell what I do, that gives me a lot of comfort. I did one for me and showed it around and my family has already asked me for three. Other than that I do my gardening, I am really trying. Hope this works.
Lisabeth that certainly is a great start for you. Not many people knit anymore. So, you may just find yourself a home business there. Still, you need to get out the house, find a friend even if it is on the phone. One thing I like doing is talk radio. Have you ever tried it. Find topics and/or speakers (religious/politics/health, whatever may spark your interest). Okay you know now I may be a little dorkie. But I love it. Any Dance girl. always makes me feel good. Sing, Dance Repeat. Carry on

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