When taking care of mom on weekends she tends to fight with me more saying all nasty things.

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Such things like I hate you. She even states that I'm not her daughter, she gets so mean I just state okay mom I'll come back when your feeling better and go next door to my house, and then she gets mad at that, should I stay away more, just go and give her her meds breakfast, go back next door and then go back for her lunch and dinner and meds , go back next door. from Terrified


This is the Alzheimers. If u gaven't yet, u may want Mom evaluated. UTI, diabetes, thyroid, potassium and medications can make Alzhemiers worse. Nice that u live next door. But u have to consider Moms saftey. Has she left pans cooking on the stove? Is her bathroom safe with tub bars. Non slip rugs.
No cooking what so ever, she expects everything handed to her, which I understand, and yes batheroom safe with handles , safety bars, walk in tub, no rugs, and she has a caregiver mon-Friday 10am-10pm, I believe since (my dad) her fighting partner is gone now(died) she now takes it out on me, cause there is no one else, she says oh that wasn't you father, your father was someone else, I just state good that relieves my mind., but it doesn't sink in and probably wont. I want to leave and get additional help but she doesn't have the funds to support it, and neither do i:(
Not trying to be smart but thank God u have a caregiver during the week. I know, screws up ur weekend. You know eventually choices are going to have to be made. If she hasn't yet, she may start walking out of the house in the middle of the night. Just keep telling yourself its the Alzhemiers and ingnore or just say yes to what she says. Feel lucky that you can go home.
By the way, I hated caregiving. I have no patience for it and overwhelm easily. My Mom was a joy to some that post here. I just recented being "it" with no help from siblings. It was always me. Felt it should be someone else for a change.
yes my caregiver is a blessing, and me too in regards to caregiving, I too have no patience, it wasn't suppose to be this way with my mom. I always say that she didn't need to turn into such a hateful person towards everything, I have no siblings, and no family to speak of, and Dad died last year in October, so when he got sick with lung cancer and placed in Hospice back in the last of July I started to see strangeness out of my mom, but nothing could be done she wouldn't go to the doctors appt's she was suppose to go to and things progressed from there.
If your mom doesn't have the funds for around the clock supervision, then, I'd explore what benefits she might be entitled to, based on her income and assets. Some states have benefits for Memory Care and AL. And some have other help that might come into the home to assist. Eventually, she will need around the clock care. I'd make some plans, before their is a crisis. That happened with my LO and it was very stressful.

I'd try to ignore the nasty comments. That's not uncommon with dementia.( You might have her evaluated by her doctor though to see if she has depression or anxiety. Sometimes medication is needed.) It could fade away though when she passes to another stage. That happened with my LO. She became nicer, however, other things develop like incontinence and loss of mobility.

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