Taking care of chronically ill husband. I'm wearing out!

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My husband and I have been married for 17 years and he has had major health issues for more than 15 of them. Congestive heart failure, two knee replacements, pacemaker, kidney failure diabetes, atrial fibrillation. He had a kidney transplant 3 years ago and has had c-diff infections for the past two years...he goes on the last antibiotic they can give him and as soon as he is off it the infection comes back. Massive loss of bowel control where he can't even make it from the living room to the bathroom. I work full time to support us as he had to retire early because of health issues. He was at the point where they said he wouldn't live another year on dialysis when he got his kidney transplant. But now with the c-diff infections he has a totally inflamed colon which is not improving and even the specialists don't know what to do. Financially we are upside down in our house and all our money goes to getting by day to day. The family has pulled away (2 children live Wisconsin and Arizona) as they just can't deal with the ongoing issues so I'm feeling very alone. I go home at night and take care of him and don't even want to clean my own house, I am so tired. Then we're up in the night with mad dashes to the bathroom and then laundry if he doesn't make it. I just feel like something has to give. Is anyone else going through similar circumstances and how are you handling it? Friends have also basically been staying away -- when bowels are involved, people run for the hills. I am having severe anxiety attacks and depression thinking this is as good as it gets. Thank you.


Dehmling, you must be exhausted with all the cleaning. Maybe it is time for the doctors to try a different antibiotic for hubby, and keep trying different ones until one is found that won't cause such a stomach upset.

In the mean time, if hubby isn't making it to the bathroom it might be times for him to start wearing something like Depends.... I know it isn't easy for an adult to want to do this but enough is enough.

My Dad won't wear anything, so now when he can't make it in time to go to the bathroom Mom makes HIM clean up the mess with her overseeing the project. She's giving him a choice, wear Depends or clean up your own mess. At 97 she is getting tired of this.
What about a bedside commode? You might check social services for any assistance he might be eligible for to give you some relief. Just any little thing that can be done to take some of the stress off of your shoulders.
Does your husband have a case manager for all of his medical issues? Check into this w/his health insurance. They can be an excellent resource, and also help with finding you community agencies that could be of assistance. This is way too much for you to handle on your own.

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