I'm worried that my mother is being abused, please help!

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my sister is gay but not is the issue, the problem is my mother thinks is a decease and thinks is helping her by living with her and spent all of hers and may fathers money on her, we belieive my sister is bipolar or has a mental illness and taking drugs, she can not keep a job, fights with every one and anybody, no one can visit them, she abused my mother, she kicks her out of the apartment my mother pays for, she verbally abused her and i've heard she has taken a knife and threanen her, we tried to get my mother away from her but she says is her child and she has to be there for her until death, my sister is 39 yes ols, she is 79, my father can not stand teh situation but does not want to move far from them as he fears for my mother, there is a gifht everyday and he is given up, we tried to intervene by after she takes it out on my mother, i tried bringing them to live with me but they refused, father wants to stay close and i find my hands tied, they dont have any more money as my sister has spent little they had, my sister refuses to see a dr and get help, the mention of this drives her crazy and this is when the problems start, they live in los angeles ca, PLEASE HELP/ADVISE. i know my mother i sbeing abused mentally and phisically, but she wont admit to ti, the police came one time and mother denied it,


Well, Bipolar Disorder is a disease, and I can certainly understand any parent not wanting to abandon an adult child with a serious disease. But Bipolar Disorder (or other mental illnesses) takes more than a mother's love to manage, and I don't see what your mother hopes to accomplish by allowing herself to be abused.

But unless your mother wants something to change and/or your sister is willing to seek medical help and to follow a treatment plan, I am sorry to say I don't see what you can do. This is heart breaking!
thank you for you response, of course is not what i want to hear but you are right, i am in desperate need of help, i have contacted NAMI, i am afraid one of them will sufice as my sister has become violent and since no one is allowed tp visit them we dont know what is happening, but bad news travels fast, when the police is called mother denies everything, the situation at this time is bad. I am very concern about my mother, she is diabetic and afraid for her, she has no money and feel very sad for she is going through. thank you.
Does you Mother have a doctor you can contact and discuss this with...perhaps an appointment is needed and the doc can find some reason to put your Mother in the hospital for testing or whatever. Anything to get her out of that situation for a few days. Call the Adult Protection Unit and get their recommendations. There has to be something that can be done to protect your parents.

Your sister needs help and it would some one of these groups could get her into a mental health unit for her own evaluation. I hate to think nothing can be done until your parents are either killed or critically injured.

I am so sorry your family is going through this. I cannot even imagine your anguish. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.
If you are really worried, call the "Adult Protective Services" and make an anonymous report. Don't muddy the report with your personal feelings, write out the concerns, state them and let APS evaluate the situation. These people are smart and can see through the cracks. Here's how we know:
For years my husband and I have been dealing with his hoarding parents who think any kind of hygiene is a newfangled thing. They can't stand each other and are aggressive to one another and have been for 28 yrs. We remodeled their house so it wouldn't be condemned but their bedrooms junked up right away, not just stuff, the air is unhealthy. We have said for years "you are both getting older and whether it is accident, injury or illness the odds of in-home health care are high", meaning "clean your rooms!". Well, ambulance was called for MIL and the authorities were appalled and filed reports with every agency imaginable. In Laws tried every excuse in the book, authorities saw right through them. First thing we were asked by the lazy sibling: how could you let this happen? It is wonderful to be able to say-we did everything we could. Make the call, leave the worry in the hands of someone else. You can't change their relationship, you can only assure yourself you have done everything you can to bring attention to it. Don't let the fear of getting authorities involved keep you down, they are compassionate and you may just be saving your family members' lives.
she has a dr for her diabetis, i dont know where it is or who is it, my mother hides these things and other things as well, she does not want me or anybody else to bother them, my father is the one that is sufering more then she is as he has lost everything, his money taken away, he has no voice, when the situation get bad with sister and mom, he is called and my other sisters, but not me, she threatens my sisters if they say anything to me, the police was called once and my mother denied and protected my sister, later my dad regreated and said he wished he would have said something, he is does or says anything he is banned, and he is the only one that can go over to their house when they stast fighting like cats and dogs, but later all is ok, i am not getting anywhere, i tried to talk to my sister about her mental issue and i was attacked and asked not to come back, i am very concern about my mother, i know my sister is manipulating her, she uses her for money but now all is gone. thank you for your response.
Dear Ninoeche,
Totally agree with buckfirelaw, littletonway and treatmenttime! You've got a sicker person taking care of two sick people. Your parents are in danger in my humble opinion.
Who has medical POA? Who has POA? If no one has it yet, please get on it and get one. You will need a lawyer for POA [executor of your Mom and Dad's estate], and a medical one, also called a Living will. Don't need a lawyer for medical POA-you can get the forms online-there are simple ones and more complicated ones. But for that, you will need both your parents signatures, your signature and two non-relative signatures--easy. You need an advocate to probably help you get your Mom and Dad to the lawyers for the POA. Another sibling? You did not mention any other brother or sister. A state SW, or any body else those ladies above mentioned can help you. They can and will see how sister is mentally ill and how incompetant she is and how conditions are with your parents. Are you able to afford and can secretly place a small video camera [or some small device that takes video] someplace in their home where all three spend a lot of time so that you have solid evidence of what's going on? God be with you and help you.

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