It's such a lonely job.
When taking care of someone elderly, I always felt complete, whole but never alone. I think it's changing because my mom is gone and my best friend needed 'space' whatever that means so I feel really alone. I can't talk to my grandma because she doesn't even hear me and I get so frustrated. I try, I really do and she has dementia but its not a dementia thing. It's a hearing thing and the doctor's said that it's too late to introduce hearing aids as one of the ears is permanently giving out a hum (she was sick earlier in her life and wasn't treated) and that's the ear that works. The other ear just doesn't even hear anything so when someone talks, she hears things all wrong. I can ask her to stand up and she hears, "Eat socks?" Or I can be rambling about what the day will bring and about doctors and she will look at me and say, "The doctor is going to the store?" I look at her and answer, "i don't know what he does with his time but I know you are going to see him later on today." She still can't hear me so I find myself yelling at her the same thing after repeating it 4 times. I get frustrated then she yells back, "You don't have to yell at me. What a mean girl you are for yelling at me." But I have to yell to be heard. Suddenly when I yell she hears me. I don't have a nice little medium voice and my voice is quite loud anyway when I talk so I find it very hard to believe she can't hear me but it's true. But with all that said and done, I have no one to talk to. It's such a lonely job. My work friends and I have nothing in common anymore since I had to quit my job to care for her full time. I never did get along with my dad and it's showing its true form now that my mom is no longer in the house to play buffer. How do you guys deal with being alone? Is there any outlets you have found that works for it? I'd seek counseling but honestly between packing up a house to move in 3 months, grandma's doctor's appointments, and caring for her all the time, I honestly don't have the time to spare to go drive somewhere for counseling taking 2 hours out of my 3 hour allotted time that I have caregivers for.
I've tried playing music to help. My grandma constantly has the TV on which makes it so it isn't completely silence but there's a difference between the chatter my mom and I did and the sound of a TV going on. Any suggestions?