Stroke caregiver burnout.

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Can anyone offer any help on how to deal with a husband/spouse who has suffered a left brain massive stroke? He has anger issues, disagreeable constantly, refuses to wear his hearing aides, therefore making it difficult for him to hear anything I say to him. I have severe uncontrolled asthma, which makes it difficult for me to repeat and speak loudly every time I tell him something or answer him. He has come far from his 11/17/14 stroke, but his emotionally abusive character is very difficult to deal with. He is 66 years old and wasn't the most energetic guy before this, but has become very unenergetic now. Mainly just sits right next to me. I have no alone time and no one to help me, or friends to go out with to give me some alone time away from him. Causing my depression and anxiety to immensely increase and difficult having him sit almost on top of me and refuses to go into one of his two man caves and watch his favorite television shows. We do not like the same type of shows. This being the reason for his man caves, so I could watch my favorite shows in the living room with my legs reclined. I also have severe lower back problems and need to have legs & feet up to take pressure off my lower back. Had total knee replacement this past September and wasn't able to heal completely, before his stroke. Also, anyone deal with a stroke patient who gets violent in their sleep? My husband doesn't wake up, but has violent nightmares and pounds on my head in his sleep. Forgot to mention that I have daily migraines and/or severe headaches. If I don't have a severe headache, I get one after he pounds on my head. Please help me if possible. Thank you very much in advance.

2 Comments

First off, establish a separate bedroom. You need a good night's rest. Second, call his MD and get meds for his depression and anxiety.
Third, get a sitter. Ask one of the kids or one of his buddies to amuse him and you go out for a nice lunch with friends. Make it a weekly routine.
You have to put yourself first!! Get ear plugs for the ranting (if any) and a large white board to write on... leave it in front and a bit away so that it can be read but not knocked over... and like Pam says... get him his meds... maybe changed, sometimes sleeping pills have nasty effects and make us very irritable... look up all his med online and check all their side effects etc. This must be very very hard... when you next go for groceries...take a bit longer... have a coffee... stop at a book store... sit in the park...take a few photographs! Just give yourself some time... quality time.

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