Stressed out and needing a change. Caregiver for mother for 10 years.
My mom moved in with us when my dad passed away in '06, living 6 mos in Florida and six mos with us. We converted our basement into a large in-law suite and forced a walk-out-up. She contributed money to help with these changes and living expenses. It has been 10 years and we've all changed a lot. It's effected my marriage, my health (weight and stress), my job opportunities. I no longer work. She's now 81, still fairly independent, driving and running errands. I help with more distant things and doctoring, surgeries, etc. I'm so burned out. I'm now also watching my grand-twins since birth for a whole year. I'm not available for mom at all now. I pretty much replaced my father as companion and lunch buddy, but now can't do much of anything with her for lack of availability. She's getting more sassy and mean, very negative and has fits and stomps away crying to her room. I'm beyond knowing how to handle this phase of her life. She's got heart disease and diabetes and refuses to eat properly which adds to the emotional drama. I'm no longer enjoying my home when she's here, my husband just hides in his office. She can't afford her place in Florida AND a place here unless she stays with us. I so want her to stay with one of my siblings for the duration, but my brothers both have high level jobs and their spouses shouldn't have to care for our mom. My sister wont take her...I've asked. What am I to do to get my life back...what's left. I'm 55 and exhausted from caregiving. This is not my life gift but it's all I'm doing. What in the world can I do?? And the guilt from feeling like this....endless