Stress!!

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I am single Mom to 7 yr old boy and full time live in carer for Mom who has mild Alzheimer's. I love her to bits but I am at my wits end with her constant bitterness and anger all towards me. Nothing I ever do is good enough. She complains non stop all day every day.

2 Comments

Has your mother been evaluated for medication for her anger (which can be a symptom of depression)?

You can care for someone without being a hands on caregiver. Start thinking about Assisted Living.
I agree with Bablou - I would not ever put a child in the same home as someone with advancing dementia. Dementia is mean, ugly, gross, awful, and very, very scary. It can be violent, disruptive, and dangerous. There is no way to know what kind of dementia patient somebody will turn into until it's happening. And that is no time to start thinking about options and change. Decisions made in crisis tend to not be so great.

Go tour some places and make sure they are specifically meant for dementia patients. Not every place is willing to handle that. Memory care is what you're looking for. The real reason is because a memory care facility can handle the wild behavior that can come with dementia, while another "regular" senior/assisted living community can't. You don't want to be forced to move your mom if she starts acting out suddenly. Some of the good places have a waiting list.

Please know that YOU do not have to pay for this out of your money. The person living there pays until there is no more money or things/property of theirs to sell to make money to use. Then they go on Medicaid.

You will probably need to see an elder law attorney to make sure all your legal paperwork is done correctly, so you have oversight of her affairs and legal permission for banks, doctors, etc to allow you to do business on her behalf. This is a very important step to do IMMEDIATELY if not faster.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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