I have a stranger in my bed.
Hi all. Where to begin. My partner, now 69, had a stroke 14 years ago, it took his speech and swallowing but he made a good recovery. I noticed some short term memory issues and a tendency to cry more easily when things went wrong but the memory probs did improve. More recently in the last 2 years his memory seems to be going backwards and he has acquired an uncharacteristic hot temper. He has become very emotionally distant, self centred and gets very angry if his selfish behaviours are challenged. Compromise and fairness are no longer in his vocabulary. He constantly goes out, often not informing me of his plans until last minute or unless I ask. Whereas he used to make an effort to be available to drive me to essential places in the car, I now find myself having to walk everywhere ( hard work as I am disabled, suspected MS and use a stick ). If he does stay in of an evening ,he has to have control of the TV - I have learned to watch programmes on my laptop with the headphones on to avoid conflict. He often blanks any attempts I make at conversation. Never good with money, he used to give a little towards the bills but has stopped doing this and keeps wanting to borrow money as he has spent all his. Last week he took money from my rent jar to go out with without asking while I was at work - a first. When questioned he did not see a problem with this, as he was going to give it back. More money went the day after and again the day after that - he admitted to taking one lot but then said I must have taken the rest out myself, rather an odd accusation. He genuinely didn't appear to remember taking more. He is taking wrong turns whilst driving more often, has lost interest in trying any repairs around the place and either watches TV or listens to sport on the radio when home. I am often blamed for the shortfalls in his memory : 'I told you that' when he hasn't, or 'You put me off' if things go wrong. He still works part time, delivering parcels in his own car ( not sure how well this is going ) and spends his time off fishing or out for drinks. He was always a kind,caring, even tempered person but there is no comparison these days. I am left wondering if this is just a grumpy old man thing or if an illness ( dementia ? ) could possibly be at work here ? I am constantly on duty policing his shortfalls - switching off lights, radio, closing doors, shutting gates, fetching newspapers in he has read outside etc. after him - very tiring.Thanks for listening. Any advice would be appreciated. x