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My 99 year old mother stood on a chair to fix the drapes. I don't know if she fell or not, but the drapes are on the floor and the rod is broken, with pieces missing. She doesn't remember how the drapes got on the floor but said some of the hooks were off - so she must have been up there. How I wish we could convince her to go into assisted living. She forgetting more and more, doing stranger and stranger things..............her judgement is totally gone.

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Mom is in an independent living facility. She doesn't remember how to cook anything more than soup or an egg, but she gets her dinners at the restaurant on site, and most of the time buys her lunch there. Yes, she is an OCD kind of person and will do what she wants, and besides, can't remember what we said to her five minutes ago anyway. We can't tell her anything, can't trust her to take meds (fortunately she doesn't need any) but once she got sick we had to make a trip there every day to give her antibiotics or she would have thrown them out (or worse). She is stubborn and independent as a mule and won't move. We have decided that, at her age, we just need to let her do what she wants, as long as she can get herself up and dressed, makeup on and goes to eat, there isn't much we can do to change things. What the facility doesn't take care of we do, such as finances, laundry, shopping, cleaning, etc. They provide transport, but of course, she won't use it, so we have to take her everywhere. For now its working, sort of, as long as she doesn't fall.
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Fina a board and care. Small family residential homes, 6 residents 2 care takers. AL may be too big but they have lots to offer. Start looking, walk in unannounced. Do view the places, the workers, the smell....see what is on the menu, do talk with residents or their family members who placed them their, Ask why they chose that place....My reason,: LOCATION LOCATION AND LOCATION. I can get to my mom or aunt in 5 minutes driving time. They treat the ok. Nothing in life is perfect,
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Ba8alou, OMG, bet you wished someone would have snapped a picture or your MIL carrying 50 lbs of wainscoting and a bag of nail for those 2 miles. Got to give her credit for wanting to fix up her home, as so many elders tend to wait for those rainy days to fix/repair/buy and we are still waiting :)
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A couple of years ago, my MIL, then in her mid-70s ended up the hospital because she passed out in the street. When I went to see her in the hospital, she was recovering, and she asked me to go to her apartment to pick up some mail that had to be posted that day. When I got there, I found a huge pile of wood--wainscoting--on her dining room table. Must have weighed at least 50 lbs. Also nails, etc. I posted her bills and went back to the hospital. I asked her where the wood came from. "Home Depot". How did it get to your house? "I carried it". (Home Depot is a good 2 miles from her house. She had walked, carrying 50 lbs of wood. She has two sons with cars. "Mom, do you think maybe that's why you passed out?" (It was July in NYC, 90 degree heat, high humidity). She never saw the connection. Your mom is going to do what 's she's going to do.
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Captain, you got that right about an OCD personality, been there, done that. Perfect for the work environment but at home can be non-user friendly.

Anytime I got into a project at home I wouldn't let go until I finished it. Everything had to be in its place. Now I am too tired to even think about fixing things, and my home looks it, too. Gosh, now I want some of the ODC to come back.
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na , gardenartist . an ocd personality will climb up to fix something every day . they dont wait on help or a schedule . thats the one behavior that bends my head .
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You might consider telling her that you have some spare time to help with fix-it projects and ask her to make a list of projects that you can do together. Then when you come as handywoman, bring a small safe project that she can work on while you do the less safe ones. Then she can still feel as if she's doing useful tasks.
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At age 99 I'm not sure that fixing the drapes is the worst way one could go. If she is able to live independently, more power to her!

I don't even want to fix my own drapes now. But I admire the spunk your mom is showing. Of course, this "spunk" may really be the result of bad judgment, and I don't blame you for your concern.

Maybe you could negotiate with her that you'll support her continued living alone if she will start a list of what needs fixing, instead of trying to do it herself. But is her memory good enough to honor that agreement, even if she intends to?

How about talking of retirement? Not that she is incompetent to live on her own, but that she has certainly earned some rest and the right to have others providing nice meals and keeping her place clean and fixing things that break, etc. Have you taken her to suitable ALFs? Have you had a meal or two there?
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Take her on tours of ALF's. Most have blinds, not drapes, and they do ALL the fixing for you , even hanging pictures and TV's on the wall.
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Good heavens, 99 years old and still wants to fix things around her place. And not afraid to climb up. When you think about it, haven't we all stood on chair to fix things and wish we hadn't?

From your profile, it says your Mother is in independent living... I assume she has an apartment in a senior facility. If that is the case, would she be happy living in an one room facility at assistant living? She would miss all her friends, and have to deal with all new people.

Does she have one of those Life Alert buttons to wear? Thus, if she does fall and hurt herself, she will get quicker care. So far, even with the down drapes, apparently she didn't hurt herself.
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