Sticky family photo question - Dear Abby.....

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As a young man my brother had a child that was adopted by a family member of the young woman he was involved with. Twenty six years later that child got in touch with my mother and my brother, the biological father. He brought her some photos of him growing up which my mother saved. My brother has passed as did my mother recently. I'm not certain to do with those photos. I have no contact with the child/now man nor do my brother's two children. I feel a little guilty about discarding them. Asking my nephews if they want them is uncomfortable and I feel 99% certain they will not want them as they've never had an interest in meeting. When the young man came it was a pleasant meeting, however he did ask for money and made no attempts to contact my mother or brother after that. I would not know how to contact him so returning photos directly to him is not an option for me. I'm thinking burning them may be best. Thoughts?

4 Comments

Since the only thing he apparently wanted was money, I'd keep the photos in case he hits on your family again and you need to provide law enforcement with copies of the photos so they know what he looks like.
Adding that unless there was a DNA test, you really have no idea that this is the person your brother fathered; he could be any scam artist.
How long ago was this family meeting when you met the young man? Sounds like it was quite a while back, and that being so I really wouldn't be worried about the possibility of his coming after you for money.

I imagine the qualms you have about chucking out the pictures are to do with feeling that you're rejecting some part of your family? There is a certain poignancy to it. But look. While there is some sadness to the story, it's a bit of a mess, it's none of your doing, it isn't your responsibility to try to rescue anything from it, and after all why should you be the custodian of this particular memory if nobody closer to it is interested? Me, I'd bin them. You'll be relieved once they're gone.
Wow, lots of angst. They're just pictures. Put them in a brown envelope, but the child's name on it and tuck it in the bottom of a drawer someplace.

See how easy that was?

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