Spouse not currently showing interest in day stay near us.

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Found Day Stay near us (Twin Towers, Cincinnati), picked up brochure; I left the TwTower info with him (I work full time), so I am hoping he will be more positively responsive, since I also learned that VA patients may be (he is) eligible for 2 days/week care there w/a copay of $15/day. They also transport thru Medacare Transp to and from Day Stay ($2.50/mile).


Here's one idea that may or may not work... tell hubby that this group would like for him to *volunteer* because they need his expertise. Sometimes that will spark an interest in the person. If you think that might work, first call the group and explain your situation and see if they can find him a *volunteer* position or make him think that he is helping out. If they can, then approach hubby with the idea.
This depends so much on your husband's cognitive level and his attitude toward his disease.

I was frank and honest with my husband.
Me: "I am doing every thing in my power to keep you here at home with me. I need your cooperation and help. I need some time to take care of my own appointments, go into the office, and run errands. I need you to be in a safe caring place."
Him: "I can stay home alone while you do those things! I don't need a babysitter!"
Me: "I know that most of the time you can take care of yourself, and you do a good job.But some times that ol' Lewy takes control, and then you are not yourself. Those are the times I worry about. All that worry is not good for me." [He had Lewy Body Dementia.]

He went 2 or 3 days each week. There were parts of it he really enjoyed but he still would rather have been at home. Every 3 months when we had care conference the social worker would ask what the goals were for being there and he would answer "To give Jeanne some time to do her things." Of course I had additional goals, but I went with the one I thought would be most compelling (to do something for me) and it worked for us.

This is not easy, but it is very worthwhile and worth a fair amount of effort to bring it about. Perhaps you could arrange to take some time off work and take him there for lunch or during some entertainment. Talk it over with the head nurse or social worker.

Good luck ... and let us know how this works out for you!
Day Stay currently "in limbo" both for weather reasons (not open), but also he was admitted to VAMC for both swallowing issues, slurred speech and swollen legs/feet (CHF). His speech has gotten back to normal, but still working on fluid buildup (also in pelvic area). I hope to get Social Services involved in speaking to him regarding going to Day Stay 2 days/week--maybe use the ruse of them needing him as a "voluntee" as somebody suggested.

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