Sometimes I just wish I could pull Dad out of AL. I can't detach.
...because it's more Unassisted Living. I swear that for $5K a month, things should be taken care of, but I find myself having to follow up on WAY more than I'd like to. I've tried almost every alternative in the book, and much to my dismay, Unassisted Living was the best option. I chose AL because it was the best option. Him living in my house was a disaster, and I was afraid he was going to burn my house down. Independent Living didn't work because Dad doesn't have the capacity to manage 24 hour oxygen, meds, etc. with his sight. A small solo apartment with overnight help 3 nights a week was horrible. They were "ghetto" chicks that ate up his food, spent his money, or didn't show up at all because they were in jail (I'm not kidding about the last one). AL was my last, though expensive, resort. At least there 1) he got breakfast 2) the adult day center provides free transportation to and from three days a week, and the AL staff can at least handle Dad's insomnia, constant complaining, and medicines. However, I still feel like I have to be way more involved than I would like. If the TV breaks, Daddy calls. He complains CONSTANTLY about the food (because he wants me to bring it every night). Dad's cable isn't working and the cable company says its for non payment HUH? Cable is part of his rent!!! So now, I'm at work worrying about what's going on at the Unassisted Living place again... productivity shot to hell!! I can never know if the lazy evening staff (one of the CNA's is downright mean) is doing their job, and sometimes I think I should just save the damn money and rent something one level and pay help to come in again (maybe at a higher price point to weed out the bad ones). That would mean I would once again have to cover overnights, but if I'm constantly having to follow up on dumb S*** why not save the money? I HATE feeling like I still have to intervene when I pay a freaking A**load of money to NOT worry about this stuff. The staff, in an effort to help, started automatically sending food to Dad during meal times, and he's biting everyone's head off because he feels like their forcing him to eat. Guess who gets an ear full... Is it ok NOT to give a flying flip about his stupid eating habits anymore? Seriously! I'm SICK of hearing about this. I'm at a point where I don't care if he eats or not. I've bent over backwards and he's only happy when he gets his way... Translation: me bringing him what he wants when he wants it. AARGH!!! It's cold and rainy out today, and I so do NOT feel like driving 45 minutes to visit an old grump who is never happy. I just want to go home, have a glass of wine and cook something I want to eat for a change. Yep... one call from Dad, the AL or hospice never fails at putting me in a VERY bad mood!!!!