Sometimes I just don't know what to say!

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Me to Mum when I was getting her ready for her shower: OMG you're not wearing any underwear! Why aren't you wearing underwear? MUM: I Don't know! Me: How could you not know? Mum: I don't know! Me: We're not going commando! Gotta love her. Believe me I'm checking from now on!


When she says she doesn't know, she most likely REALLY doesn't know or realize that she doesn't have underwear on.

You might want to spend some time reading the articles here on dementia and its various stages so you can anticipate these kinds of episodes and react accordingly.

She can't help recognizing or not recognizing, so find ways to deal with the situation w/o criticism. Say something like, "well, then I guess we can look through your underwear drawer and find something pretty to wear today."

As others here, as well as articles, will advise: redirect, and keep the situation light.
I'd be wondering if they got wet/soiled so she took them off, you might want to check for them hidden in odd places.
Hi cwillie. I think you are right. Her underpants disappear at an alarming rate. I think she's throwing them away. I just bought her 4 new packs. That way if she has a little accident she can just toss them. I do tell her that it's no biggie and that everyone has the occasional oops. I don't want her to be too embarrassed about the whole thing,
Marsalis - I like your attitude towards just tossing an accident - I wondered if I was alone in that. Rainman wears depends but occasionally will have a diarreha blow out and runny poo is all over the inside of his pants. There are times when I just can't deal and end up tossing the whole icky mess into a garbage bag, tie it off and into the outdoor trash can it goes.
My mom would do the same. Lol I would ask mom were are your panties? Her reply...I don't know. She would try and hand wash them and hang them on the curtain rod. All you can do is laugh!
Right. All you can do is laugh. If mom gets her panties messy I just let her toss them. I just have to keep ahead of her in the purchasing. I never again want to have her say that the only pair she has is the pair she's wearing. That was before I knew she was throwing them away! Also, she feels bad that I do her laundry even though I don't mind. I found socks stuffed behind books in the bookcases because she didn't want to give me too much work!
What about using pads or pull ups? If her underwear are getting wet you can bet her pants are too, as well as the furniture.
I'll have to look into that. Pads would be best at least at first. I have to take baby steps with mom. She gets really mad at any suggestion that she might be aging. It took forever to get her to let me help her with bathing. She gets mad and stomps around if I try to help her find something (implying that she's helpless). Best! Thanks for the good advice
Marsalis- I suspect you'll find once you sit in a soaked couch cushion and your living room begins to smell like the public restroom at the park, you'll be wanting to take full size steps. Sorry - not trying to be a big meany here - just know how this goes. Incontinance is one issue you'll be wanting to stay ahead of rather than chase. Start preparing now how you're going to introduce adult protective garment to your mom. My two pieces of unasked for advice? Don't make a big deal of it - and from your posts here it doesn't sound like you will. Second - buy a brand that is trim in design and perhaps a pretty color. The more they resemble regular underwear, the better their acceptance. A last piece of advice - buy a good stain/oder remover. I like the one you can get for pet accidents, sold at pet stores.
Rainmom-I don't think we've had any major accidents yet. No odors or wet spots. We're pretty careful about looking for those things. When the time does come, possibly soon, I won't make a big deal out of it. These things just happen. Also, we have 4 cats that we got when they were 1 day old so we have bottles of the good pet stain odor remover.

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