Need someone to talk to.
I have been reading this forum for a year without becoming a member until today. My five siblings have been taking care of our parents for about 17 years with increasing levels of caregiving needed. They have needed 24/7 caregiving for the past 6 years. My sister moved in with them at this time and as the care bacame more intensive we have hired caregivers and also we siblings rotate the caregiving. In this way they have been able to stay at home. We all work together to assist financially as well. I know this sounds wonderful, and through the grace of God we have been able to keep it going for these many years, but the caregiving system is breaking down as we get older, more stressed, worn down and deal with our own mental health and physical issues. We made the decision to start the process for placement in a nursing facility. It happenend that my mother had to be hospitalized and from there went to rehab and has been in long-term care for about three months. We are working on the paperwork and the spend down for our father. I just came from the nursing home and my brother and I made the decision to get my mother admitted to the hospital psych ward. My mother who is Bi-polar is completely messed up with her medicine since going into the longterm care status. She developed a UTI and we know that they were not giving her her medicine properly. And because she is now acting so bizarrely, her roomate complained and they are putting my mom in another room. I do believe it was due to their inconsistency with the psych meds and the untreated UTI. Which brings me here today. I had no one to talk to. My siblings are so stressed that they didn't want to talk about it. I have fantasies of selling my house and moving in and taking over from my sister, but we are all so tired, I don't think the sibling caregiving would last too long. We knew that our caregiving would not stop once our mom was placed in a nursing home, but now we are second guessing our decisions and agonizing over what the answer is.