Somebody please tell me this too will pass.

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My husband with Alzheimer's has started to throw things to the floor when he is angry, which is quite often now. Because of this I'm in the process of putting my mother who has advanced dementia in a nursing home. Right now, if he gets worse, I can't run out of the house if I need to because I can't leave her behind. So I'm putting her where she will be safe.

His last episode began when I made the mistake of showing him the electricity bill which was unusually high and asking him how he thought we could bring it down. I was trying to act sweet and stupid because that sometimes works. When he couldn't figure out what we should do I suggested that just maybe the heater was running it up. He keeps it on 80 to 82. He agreed so I left the room thinking I had gotten through to him and we would be setting the heater on a lower temperature. Wrong. About 30 minutes later he was mad because he said I accused him and the rant began. He worked himself into a rage and began taking books out of the bookcase and throwing them on the floor then kicking them. He finally went to his studio. When he came out a few minutes later he had a Christmas card his son had sent to him. He demanded to know what I did with the envelope. I told him I threw it out since his address is in the address book. He didn't believe it. When I showed it to him he said that was the old address. He thought his son moved to Hawaii and wanted that address. His son has not moved. His brother though has lived in Hawaii for many years. He went on and on ranting about many things that were not true. He also hit the back of the chair I was sitting in each time he passed by me and kept knocking my purse off of the desk onto the floor. He even thinks my mother has lived with us for the 38 years we've been married. She's been here 3 years. It's almost unbelievable what this disease is doing to his memory.

Somebody please tell me that this stage of Alzheimer's will pass.

Before this latest episode I told his neurologist about his anger and she put him on a antidepressant. He's been taking them for almost 4 weeks but his mood has not improved yet.


I'm sorry to say I don't have many ideas for you. My Mom was so peaceful and quiet during her entire 'dementia' related illness. I have never experienced anything like what you are describing. You can check the ALZ site for descriptions of various stages. I would certainly speak with the doctor about his behavior. It doesn't sound like it is safe for you to be in that house! You might consider a facility for your husband. One thing I did learn for sure, There is no reasoning with a dementia patient. Hence discussions of bills etc, would be off limits from my perspective. Good luck and stay safe. This illness creates unexpected behaviors. You have to protect yourself!
I can tell you that this stage will eventually pass. It may not be for the better, though. It'll just be different.

I'm glad you are able to place your mother in a nursing home. You will wear yourself to a nub trying to take care of two dementia patients at the same time. Don't know how you've managed this long.

Be sure to protect yourself physically from your husband. If he gets really violent, maybe the EMT's can sedate him or something. I'm not sure. My FIL went through a short period of that kind of behavior and then he was admitted to a "lock down" unit of a hospital where he stayed about 2 or 3 weeks. They tried different combinations of medicine on him until they got the right "cocktail". It made all the difference. He did undress and hallucinate too, but I can't remember if that was before or after the hospitalization. It was about 15 years ago. I was not his primary caretaker, living out of town I just substituted and helped MIL however I could. She was adamant about keeping him at home, and did until he was just too sick and went into a nursing home and was gone within months. I don't think the NH hastened his demise any, it was just finally his time to go.
Unfortunately this behavior that your husband is showing is one of the most common reasons folks are finally placed in a care facility. It's sad and it is so hard on the family. I hope the antidepressants work for your husband but I wouldn't count on it. Do be careful as there have been many a healthcare worker who have been inadvertently injured dealing with an angry, acting out ALZ pt. They may be old, and they may not think right but they can be very determined and very strong. Your plan to put your Mom somewhere safe is a very wise decision. A big unknown if this stage will pass or not. This is a horrible disease and it affects folks so differently.
Thanks for the replies. I don't know why I thought I could reason with him. I should know better. He seems to be going down hill a little faster. Right now my approach will be to try not to antagonize him and if that doesn't work then "duck and run". He is still aware of what's going on around him so he can refuse a facility. Not that I could afford one.

Lataza, see if you can get your husband on Medicaid, then that way you can afford to have him placed if it is decided that his Alzheimer's is chipping away at your own health.

Please note that 1 out of every 3 caregiver dies leaving behind their love one. Then your hubby would be placed in a nursing home that deals with memory issues. You'd be gone and hubby could live many more years.

Curious what your step-son [I assume step-son since you referred to him several times as *his son*] thinks about this situation.
Can you place your husband in 24/7 care and keep your mom at home? My MIL had to call the police several times, during my FIL's rants. If he gets out the door, then you will have even more problems.

You are between a rock and a hard place.
Yes, his son is my step-son. He knows about the dementia but not the diagnosis of AD. I haven't talked to him in a long time. They are not close and that is a shame because his son is a very nice man.

He is still able to take care of himself and is aware of what is going on around him so I know he would not be willing to go to any kind of facility. He does not believe there is anything wrong with him.

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