My mother went into a NH almost 2 years ago - Parkinsons, many strokes and dementia. Many of you have followed me in my journey but, for those that haven't my mother has been an evil, mean and manipulative narcissist her whole life. Once in the NH she called and screamed at me every day until I got so ill with the stress and blacked out driving my truck at 85, I changed my phone number and went no/low contact. I was very ill all last winter.
She's determined that "out there somewhere" there's a NH like a 5 star hotel where she can have a suite, room service and hot/cold running nurses/servants 24/7. It's an obsession. At this point she's close to the end but the social worker has given her a list of NH homes and wait times, which she beats me over the head with ... I'm the bad guy that won't allow her to go to a "we only accept royalty". In the past two days the social worker has given her a list of NHs and wait times - she's the angel, I'm the bad guy for not making nirvana happen tomorrow.
I visited today (go every other day now). My mother was in bed (as usual) and drifting in and out. After 10 minutes she told me to leave. I spoke with the RN and the doctor who agreed her time was near. At that point i discovered her chart was noted as "moving" - obviously done by the social worker when she said she wanted to move. At this point she couldn't move across the road!!
If she said she wanted to jump of a bridge would the SW provide a map of local bridges and call her a cab??? Maybe that's why there are never cars in the visitor parking - she fills these old folks full of fantasies which the inability to make happen they take out on their families. It is no small wonder that there's rarely a vehicle in the parking lot.
I'm so angry and I'd like to go after the SW tooth and nail but my mother has such a short time and what difference will it make? It will all be over soon.