Social media is revealing more than folks think they are.

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I wonder if family members do not realize most of us also see "other" social media outlets all the time...Family members who are always using the excuse that they live too far away, which they were closer, wish they had more off time, etc. etc. blah blah blah........heard it all......then checking messages on one of those other pages and noticed that both of my nephews have been traveling, traveling, all over the country, having a ball, living it up and at not one time did either of them stop to even wish my Mom a Happy 90th goes without saying they have not been to see her in a of them over two years. This is a sweet woman who thought the sun rose and set on these two...I always was so proud of them and the men they had become. I am now totally disgusted with all their bragging about their fancy lives and their accomplsihments....many of which they would not have even had the opportunity at were it not for my Mom and Dad. I know their Dad, my brother, did not raise them that way, but now that they have moved off and become "big shots" they have apparently forgotten all about the family roots that helped them both along the way. It is so sad to me that young folks now seem to care less about their families. I remember as a child having such a family filled, happy life that was centered about love and family and NOT how much "stuff" you had....but these two pretty much came up with everything they ever asked for and that was part of the problem...I am just emoting ...but it just makes me sad. No phone calls, no cards, acknowledgement whatsoever to my precious Mom....There are some times when I think dementia is a blessing. Am I the only one who is completely ashamed of their own nephews, grandkids, etc. ????


Additionally, one of the nephews was within a few miles of my brother and he apparently didn't even know they were coming that close. But then again, my brother and his wife have largely done the same thing....I guess it could be one of those "what goes around comes around situations.." but I can't help feel sad for him too.....I don't know...hard for me to understand.
Seems like there are two kinds of people in this world: those with a conscience, and those who feel like the sun rises and sets only for them. I understand why you feel disgusted by this. I have a older sister who lives less then 25 miles from us, and she does not visit or call our mother. She sends the obligatory holiday card, and considers herself "good". Not long ago my sister had a birthday, and my mom managed to remember it and wanted to call her. I was uneasy about it, but I said "Sure." The call did not go well. My mom sounded terrible. She couldn't hear, she was scattered, and her anxiety caused her tone of voice to be shrill and distressed. Anyone would know something was wrong with her. I was in the kitchen fixing sandwiches and not able to take over the phone. The conversation was painful to hear, and thankfully was very very short, being under five minutes. Have not heard from or seen my sister since. Maybe I should reach out and let her know that mom was hospitalized last year, and that mom is not doing well. But I'd rather not. I know from past experience that my sister is shallow, selfish, and that any involvement from her is unlikely to be helpful.
It is so sad.....I don't understand. I know if I Mama were better able to understand she would be hurt...I don't know, she may be now...but I try to just never bring it up and tell her how much we love her all the time. I pray she does not realize a lot of that kind of thing. It is so hurtful. The ex wife was the one who was the constant strife in our family. Cursed me and Mama all the time, called me every name in the book all because they wanted their "part" of the inheritance right after my Dad passed away...It was horrible...she plotted her most hurtful attacks right at the time of and right after my Dad's passing, times when you would think even the most horrid of humans could be decent. Not her. I know I have to forgive, but I am having a hard time. But the most hurtful thing of all is now those kids, who were too small to know what all went on back then, have totally abandoned my brother and so they post post post of all their adventures with their Mom, her husband, all their trips, their expensive vehicles, their success, blah blah blah...They don't even feel like part of my family anymore. They just were not taught to respect their elder family members...but then the ex doesn't even show respect for her own's all very hurtful....and made worse by all the constant posting of their adventures when they visit and go everywhere EXCEPT to see their grandma....I am...I'm completely disgusted and ashamed of them...Bless yalls heart....I understand.
And again, the ONLY reason they have the kind of lifestyle they have is because of my parents, and also because when the wife divorced brother he did right by his boys and helped them all in every way possible...and considering the circumstances of their divorce, he owed her NOTHING.......I have to admit, when the time comes...and I hope it is a LONG way off from now...I cannot even imagine having to see any of them acting like they are me you should show the respect when folks are alive...not after they are gone...they will be dead to me then.
Oh Angels19 I hear you.. I'm sitting here listening to my Mom speak mean to me because she's sundowning, I am cursing my no show siblings (5 of them) in my head.. I want to cry for both Mom and me!!
Hope22 your words are all so true!! I feel the same way about my siblings as you do..
You know, it is kind of sad for my brother, as I think he is starting to see how it feels now that his sons are not visiting them when they come near, etc. but kids live the way you teach them. These boys were taught right as they were little and their grandparents had more influence, but once they got away from that, they have just developed different personalities...I think of how hard I used to work to give them money and whatever it was they were wanting at the time and so did everyone else, and wow, am I ever seeing what a mistake that was. No appreciation, no respect, and apparently no feelings for anyone in our family. I just know that growing up how much I loved my parents were always involved in their lives and made sure we were as well. Once we got older, I continued to go to their homes with my brother not so much but I think that is how it is with guys maybe? anyway, I always knew how important family ties were, but I guess these guys just decided they were big men now and didn't need the family anymore. A lot of issues about all of that, probably better addressed on a psychotherapist couch..... I know that harboring resentment only hurts me as those kind of people could care less....but it is so hard not to be resentful when you know what came down the pike to get to where we are now. But all in all, it is them who is missing out....and they will one day regret it...if there is any decency in them at all.
In my case I highly doubt my siblings will have any regrets.. They only care about themselves, they think by sending a card on holidays or birthdays is enough. I really can't or don't want to think about why they ignore my Mom. I'll never understand and nothing they say could make me respect them..
One more thing I closed my Facebook account because of all the same reasons you listed.. It hurts to see them going on with their lives with no care for their Mom/grandmother. My Mom has 20 grandchildren and 23 great-grandchildren the only ones she has seen in the last year are my 2 kids..
I had to join this discussion, and I have to agree that there’s some people today tend not to show no acknowledge nor appreciation, or at least try to show that they care, and you can’t imagine what they will do or say. My mom takes care of my grandmother all the time, and when her sisters come to visit once in a while, instead of helping they comment how my grandmother's bed is that way and why she’s wearing that… or they will give orders while watching TV. I don’t think they realize how difficult is to take care of an older person.
I guess you can’t change them, all we can do is change the way we look at it, and wish them the best, not just for them, but first of all, for us.

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