Follow
Share

3 years and I'm at the point of feeling like I'm losing my mind! Really feel I can't take it ANYMORE! So beside myself take care of mom wait on her hand and foot. Don't start any projects because always looking at the clock to take care of her..breakfast lunch and dinner coffee gingerale or snacks just sick and tired! Paper works piling up don't have the energy or concentration to deal with anything anymore! B.S.! Pick up the phone to call nurses aide to help hang phone up. Can't bring myself to do anything but sleep when I'm not dealing with her. Something's got to change I'm getting ugly!

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Thank you ALL again for your kind response! Hugs too! Yes it's a hard pill to swallow but we will survive.. have a good night everyone ☺☺
(1)
Report

You're a wonderful person to be caring for your mom like this. Is there anyone who can take care of her for a night or two so that you can go out or do something fun and carefree for yourself? You have to think of yourself too. Just know that your mom can't help getting older and life is hard, I've learned that, as I've watched my own mom get older and start to change. Be kind to yourself and take time for you and it turn, this will make you more kind toward your mom and able to take better care of her without resenting it. Take a breather when you need to. Its so important to look after yourself too. I hope you feel better soon
(4)
Report

WilmaDean, you need a "Cindy"!
No kidding, an assistant at home for mom, so you can take care of YOU. If you're already getting help from a nurses aid, that's good, but limited. I was laid off from my job of over 15 years. Truthfully, I was tired of sitting at a desk. My husband passed in 2015, and I needed a change. My sistrr in law referred me to her friend, which i already knew. Her mother was now living with her and her family, on hospice care. She needed to get back to work. Her mom was stubborn and reluctant to accept me as her caregiver. She said "Thank you for coming, but i don't need you, bye bye". Lol. Her daughter told her that i am there for her, so she can get back to work... long story short. We became good friends. Her daughter was relieved and let me do more. Which i did, and she was so greatful. She would come home from work, i was gone already, but she was able to relax, and breathe in a clean house. And get to visit with her mom without so much demand. I lived in town, so as her health got worse, i was on call for her always. Dimentia set in. She became bed ridden, incontinence, unable to move without pain. The nurse that came by weekly was impressed with all i had learned on my own. She passed in June of this year. I also helped with her services. This woman was vibtant throughout her years. Palotis, health club member, walker, healthy eating so she could enjoy the spice of life. She was also a good friend of my mother in law. God parents to my brother in law.
So if you can find someone to be your assistant, you might get the breathing room you need, and finally get to enjoy the last of her days.
This was my first time. I have found my calling, and i am starting another this Thursday. It is hard, because of the outcome. I know how it will end. But i made a difference for the both of them, and the rest of the family. It just takes someone with patience and compassion. Without that, they're in the wrong field.
(5)
Report

WilmaDean - just want you to know I understand what you're going through. I am, too, taking care of my elderly mother in my house for over a year now, and I'm SO SO sick of it. I sometimes have to go inside my van and just scream.

My mother doesn't want to go to daycare. It would have been a big help for me AND her because she would have more interactions with other people. But no, she just wants to cling on to me only, like a leach, that I can't shake off. When she gets clingy, I can't bring myself to be nice to her. My kids are sick of her, too. I can't wait for the end of this.

Tomorrow, I've asked for an acquaintance to come and take my mother out so I can have a few hours of mother-free, and stress-free. I hope and pray that she will agree to go out with the helper without me. Last week, the helper came twice just so that my mom could get used to her and be more comfortable. But she still doesn't remember the helper. Keeping my fingers crossed and hope it'll work out tomorrow.

I do hope you will get some needed rest and feel better. Stress will kill your concentration and memory. I try to do a few minutes of meditation each night before going to sleep. It helps me unwind a bit. ((((((hugs))))))
(4)
Report

Thank you living south.. I've been checking this site for a year now. Always get good advice and support. I'll get it together soon right now I just keep circling lol... needed to vent I guess..Thank you
(3)
Report

I have been able to sign up for respite care. You can check with your state's Department on Aging to see if there is a program that will help. It's not a complete cure, but getting out and doing something that YOU want to do for a change makes your disposition a little better. I have projects lying around everywhere that I still haven't finished and it really is aggravating. If she would go to daycare that would help some, too ( mine would not go, sigh ) I know about the sleep - I think sometimes that I could sleep for 24 hours straight. Good luck - hope you can find someone to step in sometimes.
(4)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter