Sneaking around my own home so my Mom doesn't hear me. I can't be the only one who does this?

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I feel like a robber or a teenager trying not to get caught coming in after curfew.. I just want a little time to myself. It's early morning and I'm trying to be so quiet that my Mom doesn't hear me. I see her light on but I just can't face another repeat day..


when ( dementia especially ) gets very late stage they may not let you out of their sight. i suppose theyre lost and scared. it takes a lot of patience and biweekly benders on everclear to cope.
Oh I have a lot of paranoia and shadowing to deal with. I'm just asking others if they sneak around just to get a few minutes of solitude..
I don't mean to minimize what you said but I just about fell out of bed when I read this. I do the exact same thing every morning just so I can spend about 30 minutes with my husband on the deck for just 1 cup of coffee so we can talk husband/wife stuff and the get coordinated on what needs to be done for mother that day. I feel like a cat burglar going down the hallway past her door because I am not only trying not to wake her up but also the 2 small dogs that sleep with her.I thought I was the only one doing this. I am 55yrs. old and still sneeking by my mother.Their are things we can't discuss in front of her as she gets paranoid and upset and that is the last thing I want to do to her. Any time she sees me and my husband talking to each other it must be about her.I was so glad to find out I am not the only one doing this.It really is kind of sad/funny when you think about it.
I'm glad I don't have dogs to worry about too!

Us caregivers have all kind of tricks up our sleeves! LOL
I live 300 miles away from my mother, but have spent the past two weeks at her home, packing for her to move into assisted living. Every evening at bedtime she says, "wake me up when you get up." I always say yes, then in the morning I get up early and sneak downstairs - the only time I'm grateful that her hearing is bad. She wakes up so disoriented and confused, and needs so much help right out of the gate, that my first cup of coffee has to be alone, in silence, or I'd lose my mind.
I know how you feel. Even though I do not have to get up at 6 am my husband is getting ready for work and we can have some alone time until he leaves at 6:30. Dad usually sleeps till 8 and I try to be quiet so I can read the paper, do some picking up around the house and now that it's nice outside do some gardening. I am just a bit crabby when he gets up by 7:15 as I feel I lost that alone time.
I used to get out of bed and head to my "office". I would sit in silence and paint with my watercolors for hours, before I wander down the hall. I was on Lexapro and still needed "my" time. Mom was finally put on Lexapro after she went to AL for depression. I still cringe when I get the random phone call from Mom asking me to bring or pick up something. You are not alone.
You are not alone! I often clean the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning just so I can can avoid her peeking at me!
I'm guilty of doing this too. In the evenings, when he falls asleep, I try not to wake him up. I quietly do things. Sometimes I forget, and I slam the kitchen door behind me. Darn! He wakes up. And then he's, "get me this, get me that," I sit down, and then he needs something else done. I do it. Just sat down. And more requests. It's like he waits until I sit, before he comes up with more stuff for me to fetch. Ewww. that just brought an image of me being a well-trained dog "fetch, fetch, fetch... =)
I found my dad was doing this--tip toeing around and letting my mom sleep in til noon or longer (never mind that means skipped breakfast and she's a diabetic) so he could have some peace. I tried to break that pattern and tried to get her up and fed by 10am but it was of no use. I got the "10 more minutes" reply and throwing covers over her head. I felt like I was the mom of a teenager again. Its very very hard to get her up and going before noon. All appointments have to be made for afternoon because even when she does finally get up it can take up to 2 hours for her to get "ready." So, sometimes its easier to let her sleep and not wake her. And like bookluvr, once she's up its "get me this, get me that" as soon as we sit down. the question is, do you let them sleep all day for a few hours of alone time or do you get them up at a decent hour?

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