My sister has taken over the time I wanted with our Mom on Easter Sunday.

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I told my sister because of my current back issues, I can't sit in hard chairs( can;t stay for the brunch) and I wanted one on one time with our mother on Easter Sunday from 11am-11:30am which 11:30 is when my sister said she would be there. Now she has changed her time to come at 11am. I want to see my mom without having to entertain my sister but she can't see or understand that. Our mom has Alzheimer's, sis it primary on the POA. I know the logical solution is to come at 10:30 but I also wanted to visiti with sis and my brother. So without getting all emo here...what more can I say to my sis that my time with our mom is private and important to me...She isn't getting it at all.


Sharon, could you take your Mother to another room which is private and talk to her there?
Do you have a seat cushion you could carry with you and be able to sit in the hard chair at brunch? I don't understand family members who want to play games, either. Maybe she thinks you *want* her there when you are there and so she changed her time, especially since you said you want to visit with them too. Can you visit with Mother on Saturday or Monday? Your visit would be just as meaningful to her on any day, doesn't have to be a holiday. I guess if Sunday is the only day, you have the right idea, go at 10:30.

You know that Mother's Day is just around the corner. Have the schedule ready and written down if you want private time. Be sure to post it or email it or something so that the other family members can't say they forgot or didn't know.

Enjoy your visit and hopefully you can stay for the brunch. Sorry about your backache. Maybe a pain pill and a cushion can get you through the day comfortably.
freqflyer- this is hard because my sis wants whats our time for visitation with her. She is by herself...I don't want to hurt her but she wants the attention. I think I will go at 10:30 so I have 30 minutes of one on one time with my mom on Sunday. How to deal with this in the future? My visits to mom are not about my sis.

txcamper~a seat cushion may help...a donut cushion but I don't have on. After 3 weeks out of work am only able to now sit at my computer. I have dengerative disc disease ( if you google that, it is not a disease...wear and tear on the spine and 50% of the population between ages 30-50 already have it), On the left sift side of my lower back...this degeneration is putting pressure on the sciatic nerve. Siting and standing for very long is painful but it is getting much better from chiropractotic manipulation. ironically...with no minimum pain on the right side...I was told I am going to need a hip replacement on the right side. I am not disputing this but not rushing into surgery either.

Right now the issue is pressure on the left sciatic nerve. I have not been able to visit my mom since 3-14.I can sit for short periods of time..mostly I have to lay down on my back to relieve the pain. I somewhat brought this on myself because I ignored the pain..slapped an ice pack on and after 30 minutes was good to go. I love my Chiro because I went to went against his orders last Friday (3-27 I clocked in at 9:00 am and clocked out again at 9:51)

It is just resting using ice packs, manipulation of my spine, muscle relaxers and anti inflammatories.

I don't want to hurt my sis...but I want her to understand that I what time with our mom that is personal
Sharon, could you explain where your mother is, and how far you travel to see her and how far your sister does? I don't think I'm understanding the situation.
Jeannie-my mother oz in a memory care unit . I don't to mislead anyone ...this sharynmarie.
My travel time is minimialn. Scheduling my time eazier since mom and I are in the city. I just want to know how j can get my sis to understand that my visit to my mom are not visits with sis.
OK, you want to visit Mom alone. What is stopping you? Why not go on Saturday if you know Sis is going on Sunday? I still am not understanding this.

My three sisters and I all visit our mother in a nursing home. We try to keep each other informed of when we are going, in order the spread the visits out. We don't want three of us to visit on Monday and then no one the rest of the week. But if it happens two of us are there together, No Big Deal -- we'll be alone with Mother the next visit.

Can't you visit your mother alone anytime you want to? If Sis lives farther away and it is harder for her to schedule, can't you just plan your visits around hers? At least she is telling you when she will be there, and you can plan accordingly -- both to have some time with your Sister and Mother together, if you want that, and to plan another visit with Mother alone.

What am I missing? Why is your sister's visiting time a problem for you?
You are fight jeannie..I guess I am too concerned with hurting my sis while I know sis is in nerd of serif.g me and our brother. Lets contuine this I wad just called that my mom fell again and I cant respond
I like to have some personal time with my mom because once my sister arrives the visit becomes about her not my mom. I will just go a little earlier so I can see my mom and focus on her until my sis arrives.

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