My sister rarely visits our parents, mostly on holidays, and doesn't help at all with doctor's appointment, but one time several years ago,

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when there were two appointments scheduled at the same time, she took my Mom to that appointment and I took my Dad to the other appointment, and she said to me afterwards, "I didn't realize how hard it was". That was the first and last appointment she's taken them too. I would say that I've taken them to several hundrend doctor's appointments over the last five years. She visits them only on holidays, and is friendly, but she never, ever offers herself for services, even though her days are free. She only lives about 20 minutes from our parents, but it's a lost cause trying to talk to her about it again. I guess my question is, do people who don't help with aging parents, and leave it all up to one sister, ever feel any guilt? How do they view the situation?

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I think that they often do feel guilt, especially after the elder dies. You will always know you did your best. Your sister will know she did not. No one wishes people like your sister ill, however, I do believe that they must live with their decisions just as we do. In the end, you will likely feel less grief because you will know you gave your all.
Take care,

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