My mom has Alzheimer’s and my sister is Power of Attorney. What can I do if my sister has hidden my mother from us and sold everything?

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My sister also will not accept mail, certified mail, calls and e-mails.Mom is in a nursing home BUT she will not tell us where? Mom will be 89yrs. this wk. (9-2-2011) Sister has also used my mother's SS# to get a $50,000. Student loan for her son in NY City. Plus used her SS# on other things. We (my brother, myself & my mother's 3 brothers) have not been able to find Mom, we can't even talk to her. Have gone to 16 differen't agencies..... no help because of POA. However 1 agency told me she found my mother... but cannot tell me where she is, ONLY that she is OK and that should make us feel better? This is not right. She is my Mother too.. and I love her very much. Wonder what she is thinking about why she hasn't heard from us or her home is gone and everything in it is gone? Might add my sister is known for her lying and she and her family has been in trouble with the law. Also must add sister took her off of medicare and put her on madicade AFTER she sold her home. We found out about house sale and all items removed by serching county records on sale. Can not afford Attorney or a detective. Been on phone 3 weeks......I am Lost, Tired and Hurt. Don't know what else to do?
EVERY Agency has told me this is not right or sister is up to something ,,,,,But none can help? They keep sending me to other Agencies and they send me to others and it keeps going on and on with no help. Thanks for letting me vent.

20 Comments

Can you visit every single nursing home within 5miles from your sister and look for yourself to find mom? You as a family could spread out, each taking a nursing home and start asking questions. That's what I would do till I found my mom. Either that or follow your sister sometime and see if she takes you to mom.
Thanks naheaton, but mom is in Dallas/Ft Worth area... maybe? I am in Houston, her brothers r in late 70's an 80's in PA &FL. So wouldn't help. Too many places and she knows we have friends watching ... to no avail. Been going on since Feb. of this year.
You're right, guess that's too far of a distance to check nursing homes out. I suppose talking to her immediate family, husband/kids etc won't work either since no doubt they're all in on the conspiracy. Have you called the District Attorney where she lives to ask if they can help? Maybe if you impress upon the DA about your sister and her family having 'trouble with the law' they might at least check on it? I guess unless you hired a private detective to find her, I'm out of ideas. And even if you DID find her, then what? Gotta be a few steps ahead of this money grubbing sister I would guess.
Naheaton, your right. And with the hippo law the Nursing homes will not tell you if she is even there. I have gone to over 20 agencies in TX & Federal....all say the same thing POA has my sister covered in taking my mother's $$$. But $$ is not what I am worried about, I want to just talk to my mother. We did find my mother once. When sister found out she moved her somewhere else. Yes DA,SS, Inspector General,Elderly care, been to all of them.Thank you for idea's.
This is a 1st for me...always thought I would have my mother.
Have you contacted Adult Protective Services in your area?

Texas Department of family and Protective Services
8700 N Stemmons Fwy
Suite 104
Dallas, TX 75247-3715
(214) 951-7902
Yes I have NoVoice. They r the ones that said "We have found your Mother.. she is ok but we can not tell you her location or ph#. Now that should make you feel better." How did that help? The POA my sister got... she used against the family.Beleive me I have tired every Agency out there. Thanks soo much for your advise.Today is her 89th birthday. 1st time I won't be able to wish her a Happy Birthday.
How about reporting to Medicaid office what is going on???
kimp - why not get the media involved?

Call your local paper or TV station - start locally and then spread out - and ask to speak to an 'investigative reporter'.

Have all your facts straight BEFORE you do this, and keep it simple. "My sister is hiding my mother from me in a nursing home and no one (name all the agencies) will help me find her. "

All they can say is no - and you will be able to say you've done everything you can.
36 helpful answers
I would strongly encourage you to seek the counsel of an elder abuse attorney. This is most definitely financial elder abuse and a POA does not give anyone the right to steal money. In fact having a POA means you have a serious fiduciary responsibility. Seek legal counsel.
I would think that you'd get the police involved. How does your sister have the ability to hold your mom hostage or kidnapped? Speak to an officer and see what he says or how he can help you. She is in so much trouble its not funny. Social security fraud, kidnapping, etc. ..Call and officer and take her to court.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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