How come my sister ALWAYS feels good enough, and has time to go out with friends, but can't give me a break?

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get a massage, go to the pool.....but NEVER has time...or is too SICK, to spend a day with Mom and give me a break? Not expecting an answer...just needed to get that off my chest.

6 Comments

I feel your pain!!!! My brother goes away to Mexico 2 weeks every year and Never calls or visits my Mom.. My other brother spends time away at his 2nd home in the mtns. and Never calls or visits... My sister also has a place in the Mtns. and Never calls or visits.. I've had my Mom living with me for 12 yrs !!! I Never go to the Mtns. or Mexico but I'm always here for my Mom...
This is an all too common situation. My brother has not spoken to mom in over six years. Once in a great while someone posts about their family where everyone agrees and contributes. I find myself wondering what that would be like. I try to keep two things in mind - that I am demonstrating to my young adult children how to care for aging parents, and that what goes around comes around. I hope you feel relieved getting that off your chest, Boni.
Thanks Y'all. My sister lives 5 minutes away and does not work and her children are grown. She has always been a hypochondriac and now "says" she has RA, you know.....because THAT disease "comes and goes"....... at her convenience.
She is selfish, jealous, and has made my whole families, including Moms, lives miserable for far too many years. My wonderful brothers understand this very well, so I try not to vent about it to them when it's bothering me. Today it was eating me up. Thank you all for listening.
Yes, I understand how you feel. Caregiving is hard enough, but the stress is greatly intensified with uncooperative siblings. Not only do we have to deal with the sadness of aging parents, but, in addition, we have to deal with the added unwanted heavy burden of anger and resentment because of selfish siblings not helping out. Our lives, although still very hard, would be considerably easier if our siblings would give us a helping hand.
I realize you are doing this out of love for your mother and I can't see your sister changing her ways, she will probably get worse as she gets older.
That being said you do need a break. Could you borrow your brother's home in the mountains and arrange for Mom to spend the time with one of you siblings. is mom well enough to travel maybe she could even go with you. Would not be much of a break for you but it would be really good for Mom. Good wishes
Traveling with Mom is not possible, plus it would defeat the purpose. It's her I need the break from. My sister actually took her yesterday, on errands, then to her house for dinner! It was such a treat! 7 hours of solitude! If she would do that once a week, instead of twice a year, i would be rested enough to take better care of mom. My Brother has a house in the mountains, and one in East Hampton, both gorgeous and both with HOT TUBS! I can use them anytime IF my Sister would come here to stay with Mom. She won't. Another Sister stayed with Mom for a week in april, and I went to the beach house. I had a tooth pulled the day before and had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and was miserable! (typical luck for me,lol) Then the night before I got back, Sister "slept on her good ear" and didn't hear Mom get up to use the bathroom. Mom fell into the shower, turning the hot water on, on her way down. Yelled for Sis for over 10 minutes. I don't trust her anymore.(sigh). I was feeling sorry for myself the day I wrote this post. After yesterdays break I am feeling much better. Thank you for support. BTW, my real 1st name is Veronica too. Sister (the stupid one, not the selfish one) couldn't say "Roni" so my nickname was changed to Boni.;)

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