My sister expects me to reimburse her adult kids for flight money to come to my mom's funeral out of mom's money.
My mother has just passed away in Hospice after a long battle with Dementia. She had been living in a nursing home after moving from Asst Si. Many years ago my brother in law cursed and threw my mother out of their home and the relationship was almost non existent since. My sister of late had been "visiting" my mom occasionally (she had moved to my State 3 years ago at my request) after being almost totally alone for many many years. My sister is very money oriented and has hinted many times about "splitting whatever money is left" I recently read her will in which she stated that EVERYTHING she had was to go to me and and specified that nothing was to go to her Grandson (my sisters son) who did not invite her to his wedding and has seen hardly ever seen her. There is very little money left as I was preparing to apply for Medicaid in the next few months. I called my sister to tell her that she was in Hospice and dying--she told me she had the flu and didn't want to infect anyone. Then she proceed to go on vacation for a week because "she couldn't afford to loose the money. To top that off--Her son (adult who works))(whom I give a lot of credit to for coming) his wife (whom my mother never met) and their son age 7 -whom my mother had never met. are coming for the funeral......She paid for all their flights and has be "hinting that I should repay her with mom's money.
Here is the question: My husband and I have decided to not repay her for the flights as our adult children(who both work) are paying their own way and are a refusing to take any money from us (they spent a lot of time with Grandma. And------We decided that whatever monies are left should go evenly divided only to the 3 grandchildren (including her son--as he was a child when this argument happened).. I know that she will be "pissed off" which is not the intention.....Opinions would be appreciated