My sister and I are POA's for my Mom but we are all at war.

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My father passed away in November. I was his confidant and advisor. We were very tight and he relied on me and only me to read and complete all documentation for him. Although he loved all his 6 kids, he felt they were incompetent. When he passed away I found out that my father had registered for various insurance policies and did not assign a beneficiary, not even my mother. My siblings except for 2 all felt I should be the estate administrator for my dad, since he also did not leave a will. It was also determined that my sister would be my mother's POA since my mother would be living with her. Some of my siblings including myself felt their needed to be 2 POA'S because my sister was easily manipulated and very disorganized. I was appointed as the 2nd POA. My mother has been living with my sister in Philadelphia since December and I live in South Carolina. All of my siblings have been fighting since my father's death to the point where they have been manipulating my mother and my sister where she is living. My mother and I have never been close and now she refuses to speak with me. My demonic idiot x siblings are trying to take control of my mom's inheritance. So far they have hired an attorney at my mothers expense she's not very bright either to try and overturn the poa. And the exec admin rights as well. All the documents were prepared in Florida where they resided. My sister who shares poa with me is making financial decisions without getting my approval
My mother says she knows what's going on but she has developed dementia and is confused. We all advised my sister that she can get in trouble, but she is not listening. They have opened a secret bank account and have spent thousands of dollars in one month and my mother said is for clothes and food, however a check for almost $6000 was written for one of her demon children. No one will speak to me but the siblings that are trying to protect my mother's assets. I'm sitting back waiting til it blows up in their faces, but I know I need to do something before it's too late. I'm the one who researched everything regarding finances and did all the work, now they Want to clean my mother out and then toss her aside. Please advise.


Jen, happens all of the time, our parents being taken advantage of by our siblings. I one day will write a book some of the things I have experienced from two siblings. How could we have come from the same parents is beyond me.

Are you actually co-POA's. Or are you successor to your sister? If co's most people will not assign two grown children as POA's all those unresolved childhood issues will rear their ugly heads in unimagineable ways.

If you are in fact co's you can try to take the POA documents to financial institiutions to get info. The problem there is that if sis is a co-owner on the account you do not have POA for her so the bank would be in violation if law to provide any sort of info.

What can you do? Try to talk with sis. Explain any monetary gifts will become a penalty in the eyes of Medicaid and Mom will incur a penalty equal to any gifts she has given. The two of you shouod try to sit down with the attorney to learn about your responsibilites and how to manage mom's assets in ner best interests.

Been there, done that. Good luck.
Thanks Glad we are both co. The majority of us which was 4 siblings including the other co and myself all spoke with attorney. They met with him in person and I conference called in. He was very thorough and specifically told her about the penalties associated with fraud. We also discussed setting up a burial fund for my mom. I have stressed to her that I would be monitoring the spending from mom's account and it has fallen on on deaf ears. She does not want to accept the wrong that the other 2 demons are doing. She shrugs it off with excuses. I'm just waiting until it blows up in their faces
My concern is when my daddy's insurance policy check s are sent to me. They are not even aware of the policies
I would love to deposit it into a secret account for her that y siblings are not aware of. Since she doesn't have a life insurance policy and no one is thinking about her burial expenses, medical or emergency. Someone has to be logical.
I would contact the attorney that issued the Power of attorney of your mother. Let him know what's going on and go from their. This is exactly why I gave my parents their choice of having anyone they wanted for POA. Dad and Mom always had my name on all of their checking and savings accounts, vehicles, emergency Contacts.....the whole 9 yards. I have an evil family and it got worse before my dad passed. As always, I advised both parents they could have anyone they choose for POA and or Guardian. Of course they chose me before I could say anything. ....but as we all three knew all the other siblings, I told them that my stipulation is that if they wanted me to be POA, Great, but I would not be willing to do so if anyone else would share the responsibility. I knew that would be nothing but trouble. Although the siblings all but 2 hate me because I haven't given them the parents money and assets, I feel good in doing what the parents see fit.
Thanks Ironman

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