Hi, I'm at my wits end and hope someone can help me. My mother has Alzheimers and lives in a nursing home, I'm originally from the UK but live in the States, my mother and sister are in the UK.
My sister and her husband were mentally abusing mom when she was at home, I did not know anything about this until I went to see my mom 18 months ago as I was so worried about her, she had been wandering all over the neighborhood getting lost, had flooded the house twice and was so confused, I tried to talk to my sister saying it was time for mom to go in to a nursing home and she swore at me, called mom an f......g pain then hung up on me, I was on the next plane over there. My sister and her husband are bullies and made it very clear I have no say in anything even though they know mom and I have always been close. When I arrived mom was near emaciated, very upset and confused.
My sister came over and starting screaming and swearing at me and mom so I called the police, very long story short my sister then changed all the locks on mom's house so I could not get in, eventually had to return to the US. I did contact social services and after many emails they did remove mom from her home and placed her in a nursing home where she is thriving.
My sister does not want me in the UK because she wants to be able to do whatever she wants with mom's money and house without being questioned.
The social services did hire an attorney to apply for Deputyship through the court of protection, the social worker who deals with my sister wrote a letter to be included in the paperwork, she stated that my sister was aggressive to social workers, that when asked for a statement from mom's bank, she gave them something off the internet without a name or bank acct #, my sister told the social worker that she had a joint acct with mom but refused to show proof, also that when they suggested she go for Deputyship so she could legally sell mom's house she told them no, you do it, that the management at the nursing home are concerned because my sister visits mom under the influence of alcohol, and the social services do acknowledge the drinking problem.
A few days ago I received an email from the attorney the social services hired saying the social services had asked them to withdraw all paperwork, the reason being the social worker who wrote about my sister should not have done so and it is not factual based. How on earth can they say it is not factual based!?? I have a feeling my sister threatened a law suit against them for some reason.
So now nothing is happening, the social services are no longer applying for Deputyship and my sister is doing whatever she pleases with mom's finances and her house which I suspect she is renting out to get money.
My mother did remove my sister as executor of her will years ago as she didn't trust her and because of her drinking problem.
All this has to mean something, I don't know what to do now, I have contacted the court of protection in case my sister does apply for Deputyship so I will be informed and can object.
I would like a person from the court of protection to act as Deputy so mom's money/sale from her house etc will be in a account just for her and no one else.
When I email/write to anyone about all this would it be okay to include the letter from the social worker even though social services have now backed away? I don't want it to bite me in the butt so to speak later on.
All I want to do is to protect my mom, fortunately my sister cannot move her from the nursing home, which she has tried several times, as social services do have control over mom's health, not her finances.
If anyone has any advice I'd be so grateful, not sure where to turn right now, I was thinking about contacting the Judge who was overlooking the case? contact the bank manager where my mom's account is? I'm sure he does not know mom has Alzheimers and is incapable of making any decisions.
Thank you in advance.