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So save yourself and leave. Let your mom and your siblings figure it out without you. You're letting them use and abuse you and as long as you put up with it, it will continue. None of them are going to change (why should they?) as long as you stay there and just make noises about what they should do. They're not going to listen to you. So change the dynamic and leave.
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She not bed ridden or anything she can manage to get around most small casinos (that's the only thing she enjoys) but if it's a big one she wants a wheelchair and someone to push it for her. I keep begging her to get a scooter or a rollator, but she says it's too expensive. I would even dress it up like a harley so she wont be embarrassed, but nope, just like the hearing aids , it's cheaper to have everyone repeat themselves and wear earplugs when she watches TV.
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correction..... I won't get my 1/3 of zilch ;)
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You are not free, you are some sort of indentured servant with no contract. She needs an ALF and probably did 8 years ago. Get her there or you will die before she does.
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Alot of this is surfacing because I know she could protect the assets for the family by changing her will to a living trust. At least that way if she has to have long term care that I cannot provide I wouldn't be out on the street. As she has it set up all of the property and the house I live in is in her name and will be until she dies.
My son does estate planning for people who have millions and she refuses to even let him give her advice on how to better protect the estate or even see her last will. Basically she thinks as long as the money lasts until she dies in her home, while peacefully in her sleep one night, she doesn't care if there is nothing left or if the state gets it all. If something worse like a stroke happens then her view is .... I d*mn sure better take care of her at home and not send her to a nursing home or I won't get zilch.
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OK. Here goes. If mom were paying for a private duty caregiver by the hour, 24 hours X $20.00 is $480 a day. X 30 days is $14,400 a month. Let's just say, she would pay a nursing home rate of $6,000 a month. Your rent would be less than $1,000 a month. So, by rights, she owes you about $5,000. a month. There is no "living here for free" to it. Believe me, you have earned the rent and 10 times it every month. Also, in a nursing home, there are 3 shifts doing the work every 24 hours. Every 24 hours, you are doing the work and responsibility of 3 people. Buck up and tell them to back off. Or move and turn the care over to the family members who have the most to say.
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You have to get out of there! You are being used! The only way this will stop is if you get the h*ll out of there. This is a very unhealthy situation for you.If there is anyway to get out ,do it.This whole situation is dysfunctional.Only you can stop it.I realize money may be a problem but start saving every nickel and dime you can. You could doing what you doing now for someone else and get paid,basically you are a nursing assistant.Put in an application at a NH.Also there are programs that the Red Cross or like organizions have that you can become a certified nursing assistant. I mean if you are going to be working like one you should get paid like one.Please get out of there.
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