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We were asked to co-sign a loan with my siblings and chose not to and gave her cash. We are now disowned.

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Correction above -- I meant if you are on the deed. Just noticed I wrote "lease."

Glad you are feeling more peaceful.
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Thank you for all your kind words, I felt a peace rush over me!!
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I think no decisions should be made at the moment as emotions are running high and raw. Things have been said to you out of the blue that were hurtful and ucharacteristic of the relationships that it seems you have had in the past. Since you do not know why everything has changed so drastically I would hate for further decisions to be made that may alienate the family even more. While I am in no way saying that what you did was what caused the alienation, as I believe what you did was very kind and generous, since right now you have no understanding of the reasoning behind your Mum's verbal attack I think it might be wise to wait a bit to let some time pass. With time maybe conversations can be had and things discussed to find out what it was about your choices in gifting your Mum money rather than co-signing that was interpreted as so incredibly hurtful to her.
While I completely understand your wanting to settle this immediately I believe that you may regret it when you look back upon it in the future. Unless you believe that your Mum is losing competency this conversation should likely wait until tempers have settled.
Given that you have already lost your Dad I cannot imagine that you are eager to write off any family members any time soon. Tread lightly and you may just be surprised what healing time may bring.
I respect you and your husband for doing what was right for both of you as a couple and was in line with how you choose to live your life and spend your money together. You are wise to not allow outside influences, even family, to sway you from that path.
I wish you peace as you move on in your life together and traverse the future with your family.
With peace, gratitude and grace XO
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If you are already part owner on the lease of the house, they cannot cut you off. Was your name put on the lease? If it wasn't and there was no paperwork, you may be out of luck. Let us know more.
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It looks like you will have to provide more info and ask a question. The above is a bit cryptic, maybe it got cut off.
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