Siblings feel entitled to Mum's money.

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I am mums main caregiver even though now I have put her in a rest home. I bring her home ever day and care for her without any support from siblings just abuse. They are angry because I stopped them getting mums money. Now the abuse is flooding through. I feel broken hearted about losing mum each day to dementia and now all my siblings the abuse is the most nasty possible. I am struggling to cope with their abuse towards me. They are blaming me for their dysfunctional upbringing and anything else they can think of. There is a big age gap I am the youngest.


I'd say "tough luck" someone has to look out for your Mom.. You're a good daughter, don't let them bully you!
TRoses, so often this is the case, siblings that do nothing become terrified that their inheritance will be spent on mom's needs. Their sense if entitlement is astonishing. The first place that moms resources should be spent is for her care in a manner that she would want. You are doing a fine job, detach from critical, accusing siblings and concentrate on how those you have daily contact with each day. I know this is hard, and I struggle with it myself, it is hard to believe that siblings brought up by the same parents can be so different.
I to am going through the same thing with my sister. I worked up until last yr and she had TOTAL CONTROL of mom and what she did with money. She even took her to lawyers and had Wil, POA,Health Care Proxy, and ALL safe deposit and bank books with her name being the 1st. She does not know "How this happened"? But I am the main person caring for my mom and she helps on week ends. Everytime she goes into moms house she goes for the hiding place where the money is and counts it. Then comes to me and ask who spent it and where are receipts! I helped mom with her checking account bc my sister does not write the checks in the book correctly, she rounds the amount off and does not balance the book! That makes my mom so upset. She asked me to help her and now I have my mom doing her check book again and she does not like it!
So hang in there like I am and be thinking only of what is best for your Mom and not about her. It is very hard and I understand what you are going through. I actually had it out with her and she has not said a thing again. Oh, I have what I call "Cover My Ass book". I have 3 sections: #1.i write down what time I leave my house to go to mom's and what time I leave her house....#2 I write in it daily exactly what I do from the moment I arrive until I leave (example: I did 3 loads of wash and fold, vacumed house matter how small, i write it.....#3 I write down every little cent I spend out of my money or hers and I have the receipts in this they say, I left no stone unturned....Good Luck
my mother was admitted to a hospital one week ago today. she is still there, will most likely be there for a long time, she is not well, mentally. she has never been in a hospital, other than to deliver her two children. i have called my brother, who is long distance, almost every day while this was going on, to keep him posted. as far as the severity of my mother's illness, it is quite serious, not entirely hopeless, but as close as it gets. my brother's behavior has been greedy beyond words the entire time i've been taking care of our parents... his alcoholic wife, their two kids. he calls me a freeloader. last week took the cake. one of the last times i called to inform him of mother's condition he said absolutely nothing, not one question or comment about her, then after i stopped talking he simply said something about how expensive this was, and muttered something he says quite often about how obamacare only pays for a few illnesses, and 'if she ever really gets sick there will be no insurance left to pay for it'. i hope and pray i don't call him again. God knows I'll never hear from him; unless I pay for the phone call he's not even willing to spend a dime calling down here to see if we're dead or alive. when my father was alive he called once a week, i listened to the conversations, each and every one of them was about money. he is a civil engineer, on contract with the Army Corps of Engineers. including overtime and benefits his compensation is well over six figures. he owns four homes, a boat, a couple pieces of land, countless financial investments. the fact that he refused to let me sleep on the floor of one of his vacant houses when i was homeless pretty much sums up what we're dealing with. since i began care giving for my family all my resources have been drained. at the moment my car has an exploded radiator, i don't even have the money to get it fixed. i pity my brother and all who eat what they kill. all i can do is put them on my prayer list.
This is all so very sad. Where children get the idea that what Mom and Dad has is theirs and yet, they aren't willing to offer any physical or financial assistance to these same parents. Every penny your parents have is to be used for their care and hopefully there is enough left to have a nice funeral.

Does it come from the upbringing, were the parents like this or horrible sibling rivalry...what causes this kind of greed!

Shakingdustoff...I don't understand why you are even calling your brother.

Best wishes to all.

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