Siblings disagree with action to take when dad can't afford the place he lives in.
My husband and I bought a house for my parents when they were having their home repossessed. The agreement was that we would get them into the house and they would be responsible for the house payment, maintenance, utilities and upkeep. My mother died a year later.
Since doing this, we have found out that my dad has nearly depleted all of his savings. I wouldn't be concerned if it were to take a trip or something, but it has been used to keep up with living expenses. Unfortunately, the housing market fell out right after we bought the house, so we owe more on it than it is worth, so refinancing it is not possible. My dad has not been able to pay for the maintenance and upkeep, so my husband and I have been left with this added expense. This has been putting a pinch on us.
We reviewed my dad's (who is 84) financial situation and he only has $170 for food and incidentals after paying the house payment and utilities. This was for an average month. He is spending about $500 more than his income each month. I do have a 40 something brother who lives with him, but he refuses to contribute anything but an occasional pizza or something. We have tried everything to get him to contribute. He has a full time job. At least we know dad is not alone and someone is in and out every 24 hours.
I went to my siblings and told them I thought we needed to move dad to a more affordable place. We also offered any of them to buy the house, at todays market value and interest rate. This should reduce the payment. We are looking at losing $60,000 to $80,000 on this deal. So far nobody is willing to do this. Their solution is for everyone to take on a bill and contribute to a fund to help with repairs. We aren't too comfortable with this as we have asked them to do this, in the past, and nobody would do so. (Their theory was that it was our house and we should take care of it.) Our fear is that they will do it for a couple of months and then stop.
My husband and I cannot afford the house payment and utilities. The maintenance is also draining our savings way down. We have about enough left to pay for all of the moving expenses, move in expenses, make any necessary repairs for selling and pay for a few months of expenses while the house is on the market.
In order to sell the house, we will be having to take money to the table. We can borrow from my husband's parents, to do so, but we need to do so soon, and get it returned, as his dad is in need of being moved to an assisted care facility and they will need the money for that.
Are we being unreasonable to think that moving my dad to a cheaper place would be best? I know he doesn't like the idea and he is 84. I don't like the idea of moving, either, as I am the one who will have to do all of the labor. My dad has a lot of things and is a bit of a pack rat. I am starting to get threatening messages from my siblings. I just don't trust that they will follow through with their contributing and then we will be a year later and dad will be older, he will have no money left, we won't have any money left and we will have lost our resource for a loan to get us out of the house. Please, any solutions and suggestions are welcomed.