My sister is gossiping about me and it is effecting how people treat me.

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I take care of my Mom. She is qualified for nursing home care. I live with her. My sister has undercut my efforts with gossip. I have never done anything wrong. Others have been told that I abuse my mom, that I steal her money.... I have noticed that I am not being treated the same. An intervention specialist helped some but by the time I found out what had been done to me so many had the wrong impression. What else can I do but tolerate the effects of such devastating gossip.


I read your other post just now, and it seems like this whole thing is about money. If family are accusing you of spending your moms money, it's most likely because that's where their hearts are, with the MONEY not mom. Ever heard of the the old saying ' I think thee protest too much'? Well that's what I'm thinking, they want moms money, so they are protesting 'too much' about you being in charge of it. Ignore them, protect her money from them, and go about your business regardless.
Tell them you are going to put her in the most expensive housing you can find.
I. Also believe they gossip and say bad things about you to make them look better since they aren't doing the hard work you are doing.
They have no idea what you are going through.
Linda: There is really little you can do to protect yourself from people who spread lies. That's the sad reality. That you took steps to involve an intervention specialist speaks volumes. All you can really do is stay the course and accept that it's not fair. I think, at some point, you will be vindicated. It's more important, however, to be able to live with your own conscience. That you can do right now.

Sorry for your pain and don't let them keep you down. Hold you head up and know that you are a good person and doing your best.
You might be wise to carefully document how Mom's funds are being spent - life copies of receipted bills, etc. - your sibs may be incorrigibly greedy, but keeping financial transparency can help with people who are uncertain what is going on, cannot ask and become more and more suspicious. One thing that does need to be considered is that financially a child may not be able to just walk away from a parent, either because they believe they have an obligation or because of filial responsibility laws that are looming on the horizon. In other words, it is not just a matter of Mom can do what she wants with her money, because if she ends up destitute, then children will have to step in. So financial transparency can be helpful.
@lindamarie - I agree with all the above answers and I too would not pay attention to gossipers either. Some do this only to make themselves look good or try to make themselves look good. No one validates you unless you let them. So take it from this wise ole owl - pay no mind to gossipers. Truth is truth and as long as you live it and breathe it, who cares what others say. You can straighten out a falsehood that is said about you with anyone, but you can not straighten out a gossip column. I hope that put a smile on your face. You focus on tending to Mom and let the rest of them talk all they want. Try not to let what others say and are falsehoods bother you too much. I been there. At my job they did that to me due to jealousy. Lord only knows how many times that went on until I nipped it in the bud the minute it started up again. Some folks have nothing better to do. Good evening to you.
lindamarie I have had a similar problem with my family. I do everything that is out of my heart, money is not my focus, Mom's care is. I had to shut out the unreal and useless complaints and get the job done. I never waist time on the B.S. cause that's all it is. I wrote on a calender events and emotions and actions. I keep clean records of finances etc. and 3 years after I got all the major things in order and Mom is doing great in her NH and I still keep everything in order, I get more B.S. as if, anyone else has a clue about the real deal. I hear things like... that's not what your sister's story is. I say the only story she can possibly have is She did and does nothing!!! I can prove that.... what can she prove??? Oh!!!??? she can prove what??? show me then..... we'll talk!!!! I know I did what's right....I don't care what anyone thinks.... Mom is Healthy as can be, and Happy as can be... she is still my only concern I save my strength for myself and Mom. Now I am accused of being bitter because I finally let out the truth LOL should of kept that door closed. I am starting to think Dementia is a way our elders get out of the family B.S. and weed out the bad seeds. It seemed to do the trick in my family!!!!

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