Shy about meeting new people.

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OOPS! Hitting enter submitted the question. I am a live in caregiver and would like to meet new people but care giving has made me shy. Is anyone else in the same situation?
Shyness can be overcome by doing two things. First, learning to change your mindset, the way that you think about social interactions. Shy people often attribute too much importance to interactions. Second, to get lots of practice at talking to people. Examples would be taking on a social career (barman, sales man, consultant, actor etc.) or getting involved in highly social activities so that you are constantly placed in social situations.

Hi Thumper, I am a stay at home Mom for my special needs teen. She Is my only child. I love being able to stay at home and take care of my girl but it is a lonely life at times and I have found that I have become very socially anxious. It is weird. I used to be a very shy child but grew out of my shyness but now it has come back. It is not that I don't like to go shopping or anything -actually-I love taking my kooky girl to the store-she is a wild child and full of joy and soooo many people just stop and stare with smiles on their faces watching her bounce around- but meeting up with old friends or dressing up to go out is very very hard for me now. It is like I forgot how to be anyone but a Mom to my girl. ( or a daughter to my Mom who I help take care of- or a wife ) I know it is not a healthy thing for me to be so hyper focused on my daughter and her needs and I should make an effort to expand my horizons but it is scary for me.
Believe it or not, I am shy. I was as a child, but I also grew out of it. I had to for my jobs and for all the volunteer work I did. This last PTSD relapse has made me very very shy. It was so bad I am now 100% service connected. I have just learned in the last 18 months how to speak to cashiers again. But I'm still shopping late at night when the stores are almost empty of people and I only have to deal with the midnight stockers. I barely can handle family, I have three friends, strangely enough, all men, that I trust implicitly to go out with, and one of them, David, is in TX right now. :(

I'm trying really hard to make a come back of some kind. I'll go to a local brewery and sit for a beer or two on a quiet night. If I go shopping anyplace not a 24 hour store, I try to get my son Brian to go with me. But sometimes I'll go alone. Like I said, trying.

I know it should be the easiest thing to just say "hi" to people and talk. Crazy, huh? I do respond when people say hi to me. Then the REALLY SCARY part is making conversation. OMG, I do not know what to talk about. This never used to be a freaking problem. I am so scared of saying something inappropriate, I have a mouth like a sailor now, afraid I might begin talking about me/my problem. I was so glad when we had to move. I had a good reason to stop going to church, not keep up with friends. I didn't have to show my illness.

So yeah, if anyone knows how to do this, how to conquers these fears, I would really love to hear it. I am scared to death sometimes.

I did a Mary Kay party at my house, twice, to support my daughter's endeavor and I was such a wreck over it, that I had a fat shot of rum before anyone got there. I was literally shaking until that, and these were old friends and my sister. Everything seemed to go well, but putting on the old persona like a bright neon sign for several hours. CRAP, exhausting.


And yes, I am still in therapy. I refuse to take anymore meds than I do now. Looking for little exercises I can do, anything that has worked for other people. Stuff that made them relax and feel comfortable in the presence of strangers and/or friends/family. If I just have to carry on with desensitization, than that is what I shall do. I will fight and get back to normal again, I want my life back. There, I've said it. I'm abnormal.
^that's part of the problem, i talk too much about myself.
thumper107, being shy is perfectly OK. Everybody doesn't have to be a social butterfly. You want to meet new people? Perhaps start with activities that don't require a lot of active participation. You could join a caregivers' support group and you'd already have something in common with the people you meet. If you like to read, join a book discussion group. You will have read the same book as everyone there, and that will be the topic of discussion. Generally you can talk as much or as little as you want to in these kinds of groups. Take a cooking class or basic auto mechanics from community ed. Join a knitting or crocheting group. Do you go to a church?

I'm trying to think of activities that put you in contact with new people who already have something in common with you and where lots of talking is optional. When you've broken the ice and feel comfortable in the group I'm hoping that conversations with individuals will be less scary.

Good luck!
PamelaSue~You are funny, Lol!! I had to laugh at your post about talking to much about your self. I am shy too and I am bad in social situations and talk too much about myself. I think it is a way to try to connect to others. You come across very upbeat and positive, I like that!!
Oh shoot, it's still there. I am sooo embarrassed. I reported it and hoped that moderators would make it disappear. I feel like I took off my clothes. O.O

I guess I'll leave it. There might be people here who understand that.

Thank you sharynmarie! You have made this thread easier for me. I do try very hard to be upbeat. Have you ever read a biography of Abe Lincoln? His life was not easy and he suffered chronic deep depressions. He and his wife lost two sons before his assassination. My favorite quote was one of his and I try to live by it.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln
16th president of US (1809 - 1865)

My second favorite quote:

Happiness is a form of courage.
Holbrook Jackson
31 December 1874 – 16 June 1948
I'm a real chatterbox, but I can be shy too. PamelaSue, I would love to hear you talk about yourself and your problems! But I would probably get my mouth going so fast you couldn't get a word in.
When you are afraid of being shy, it might help to have a list of questions to ask when you don't know what to talk about. "Can you believe this weather?" Stale, maybe, but it always works. "How about them RedSox?" Substitute the name of a local team. "How are you? How's your family?" "Is this a good brand of frozen peas?" Remember, other people are really shy, too, but almost everyone likes to talk about themselves, so if you just ask a question - any dumb question - they will start talking and you can just say "Really? Cool! You don't say!" Everyone will love to talk to you, and think that you are so smart and nice.
Nothing wrong in being shy. I find shy people extremely kind and considerate. Shy people seem to comeout of their shell when they meet people who share mutual interests. I am somewhat shy, but when I take my dog to an allowed off leash area, I meet the most wonderful people. Mutual interest is our love for our fourlegged pets. Not only does it exercise and socialize my black lab, but it does the same for me. I also work parttime in retail as a cashier and have enjoyed interacting with both coworkers and customers. I also am involved in the American Legion in my hometown as I am a retired veteran. In otherwords, take your life skills and interests and apply them toward something that gives you a social outlet.

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