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My GOD I wish they'd take her phone away!!! I've been on this roller coaster w my mother.. now she calls me @ work saying that she doesn't want to "live there" (snf) anymore & that I HATE her?? I have no clue what she's talking about.. she calls me incoherent bc she's unhappy.. I feel like she's dragging me down with her & her crazy mind!

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I've got a *lot* of sympathy for you on this one! I did take the telephone away from my mother. Sometimes a facility will have a 'dummy' phone that they can call that always rings 'busy' and after 20 or so calls, she will forget for a while to call you; meanwhile you get along with whatever you have to be doing. The ALF has to have a phone she can use but it's in the common room and she's not using it so far. From what I can tell, this is a typical, common, frequent problem. Getting calls or messages from your formerly lucid mother in the full swing of sundowning in dementia is something out of a worst nightmare. If you think she may have something important to say to you, try to get someone else to listen to the entire message to see if there is any content you need to deal with. Sorry you are going through this.
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Is this new? Might she have a UTI? Might she need to be seen by the geriatric psychiatrist for a med adjustment?
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Frustrating isn't it. As for your Mom it sounds like "dementia" is doing the all the talking. What you are experiencing is very normal from what I have read on other postings regarding the same same.

For some suggestions, go to the upper right corner of this page... you will see "Search Site".... type in telephoning... click on the magnify glass... and scroll down to similar questions about parents who keep calling.
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