Assisted Living Memory Care Hygiene.

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The AL Memory Care facility is not giving Mother or other residents showers. Everyone's hair always looks dirty and flat. What I found out is the CNA's are using Body Wash instead and not putting them in the shower. I don't know what they re using on the hair, but my Mom's hair always smells dirty and not freshly shampooed. I brought in shampoo and bars of soap, but it does not look like it has been used.

One of the new CNA's actually cornered me and another daughter (the one I mention below in next paragraph) and told us the other CNA's were not giving our parent's showers.

I have complained to the Nurse Supervisor, but nothing has changed. I think she knows exactly what is going on and turns a blind eye.

Other daughters of the residents are complaining among themselves, but not to her. This whole situation is deplorable. They seem afraid to complain to her, I think for fear of retaliation, which knowing this Nurse and the way she treats the CNA's is a possibility.

Even though her Mother is being neglected, one daughter said to me she was just "going to go with with the flow" and pointed to the empty Beauty Shop and said maybe I could wash my Mother's hair there!!!! I told her why should I do that when my Mother is paying $4,000 plus a month to have this done!!!! I was/am flabbergasted at this attitude. Ugh!!!!

Is this neglect typical of these facilities......that they expect this behavior from relatives of residents to look the other way and not complain? Has anyone had this happen to them? How did you handle this?

Thanks.

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Sounds like all good advice. Glad to hear they "finally" gave your mom bath & shampoo. At my Mom's home I know that some of the residence will refuse to shower, change clothes, etc. The aid's do their best and the home contacts family if it gets way out of control. Even though the facility my Mom's in is old, I believe she gets excellent care. She is pretty mentally with it & "watches" out for other residents. She is a retired LPN and keeps on top of most things. I do hear toenails & fingernails. She is diabetic but must check her own sugars. Has had a couple Low sugars and I took her to her primary care Dr. & am working with him on this. This is a minimal care facility so probably things are handled differently. Once they become to hard for them to handle they help with arrangements to move to skilled care.
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mom was 87 in aug.,and my brother moved her from nyc to nh in mass. near him-never allowed me to be recognized as her med poa and caregiver(which i was for the last 12 yrs since mom and i lived lose to eachother in nyc)
her last ac1 report was in march- and i was told they do not do any kind of blood test unless dr feels a need for it- i was told by the nurses that she no longer will need blood testing-that makes no sense- to me---they now take b/s 2 x a day 1st one is in the 100's, the 2nd is 2-300 and has een for months-which the just give her insulin- she is given antipsychotis-zalprexion(?) which say not good for elderly with dementia-raises b.-and she never was examid=ned by a neurologist- because he said she was too medicated(was on haldol at the time) and needed to have her meds lowered)shes had diabeties for about 20 yrs-i was her advoate and went with her to all appts., when she was still in nyc.i was opposed to her being taken away to mass- where she would be isolated from her many friends-and me- and i was also told i no longer was her med poa, and that i had nothing to do with her care anymore-
which is rididulous-since i new the most about her history-my brother lied to me, since i finally was able to find out and got permission to see the POA medical- (which he never would show me -duh- it never existed -!!! i should have listened to my gut)so i found out i wasnt taken off, not the whole time-until she was moved to mass-where he has taken over everything-and make it difficult for me to be taken seriously or be respected- "i was refused info for months ,being told i was not authorized- which was outrageous- and finally after many calls to the dotor- who was very sympatheric to me, but since brother was acting as poa of everything, financil payments and info- which btw, i have never been allowed to know anything about ie-- ins.finanaces,and now cannot get info on her will,legal documents, or where any of the things that were moved out of our apt.55yrs mom lived there-and i was never told or allowed to participate in the closing of the house.but -sorry for ranting- im just so angry and frustrated with this situation for many many reasons- i feel abandoned,dismissed,degraded,like i no longer count as part of the family- and we both know that isnt what mom ever asked for- although i was made to believe different by my revengeful ass of a brother- sorry- sometimes i just explode with pain , how he has managed to exclude me- and try and tell people i muts and make himself sound so wonderful-he doesnt have a clue about so much-
did i metion for the first 6 or so months, her bs was tested 1 time a week? tuesdays i was told-
what happened to every day- 2 x ?i remember we always watched her bs levels-
someties i feel like he is glad she put away-and not longer his burden - and that he couldnt wait to put her away-he just plays the role of concerned- but doesnt seem to have any insight or creativitiy about what to do. mom and i were closer in med beliefs-
she has aphasia- but i still can make sense at times at what she is trying to say- i understand her babble- i am her 1st child -of 63 yrs, and we have a special bond, which has been put in jeopardy-
again, i apologize for going on and on- but i do feel a bit better-
thank u sweetie- i needed to vent- now i am ehaused-its done such a job on my health- moms move and his takeover-
at least i managed to get the elder abuse omsbudsman -at some mass aging office- in the state of mas-to agree to chk on her 1 x a week- they cant do much- because of their time,and her aphasia and dementia is advanced-no one understands her- but me- and i think the staff at least knows someone is very concerned about her-so i guess i need to speak in length with the doctor-
it just is so draining- and i dont think i will ever get the anwers i need to know-
its a situation i have to just realize i cant do too much about- and that is hard-but i still try-u know-
it brings me to tears - the frustration of the managed ment of aging,- but thank u for replying-i need a break-i just so exhausted -
love to u
k
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Krnhersh:

By law, your Nursing Home has to keep a copy of Inspection Reports for you to look at. By law, they also have to have a toll-free number posted for you to call if there are any problems in the Nursing Home (Ombudsman). You could also call your local Aging Agency and Health Department for more info and help.

By law, you have the right to look at your Mom's Nursing Chart.
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krnhersh, how old is your mother? Do you happen to know her most recent a1C results? (The test that measures blood sugar levels over a three-month period, rather than the immediate blood sugar level.) Is the second reading by any chance shortly after a snack? Does your mother feel any ill effects from those high readings? I would think that the goal would be to prevent the reading from getting that high, rather than giving a shot after-the-fact. But I wouldn't necessarily panic until I knew the other factors I mentioned.

Some medication does increase blood sugar. But if the medication is the most effective for whatever it is treating and there isn't a good alternative, then doctors may have to pick the lesser of the evils. Treat the problem. Deal with the rise in blood sugar. Unfortunate, but sometimes there are no perfect answers. Is Mom going to be on that medication indefintiely, or is it for some condition that is expected to clear up?

My suggestion would be to educate yourself a little about diabetes and its treatment (American Diabetes Association website is good) and then schedule a meeting with the Director of Nursing and ask about your mother's treatment plan with regard to her diabetes.
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Krnhersh:

Nursing Home has to keep a copy of Inspection Reports for you to look at. They also have to have a toll-free number posted for you to call if there are any problems in the Nursing Home. You could also call your local Aging Agency and Health Department for more info and help.

By law, you have the right to look at your Mom's Nursing Chart.
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sorry major spelling error- but i forget to re read before i send-and i tend to get a bit emotional when dealing with moms care-
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(pressed send too fast) who to address my concern of moms high blood surgar levels at 2nd checking- late afternoon i thing-- ishe is diabetic- and its een over 200-300 for months- all i am told is if its high she will get a shot-
but long term effects are what? medication she takes ups blood sugar- why hasnt that been chked- should it be? or do they just go along and consider it her normal
and onl get upset if there is a major crisis????
k
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who do u contact to get the results of inspections -the state -city-county depts of the state they r in?shouldnt there be someone on staff in the nh facility that can supply that info?otherwise how would anyone trak or be aware of whats going on withthe inspections?
thanks
k
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Thanks everyone for taking the time to answer. This is a Memory Care unit housed in the same building as regular assisted living and a nursing home, but separated from them with locked doors. My Mom calls it "jail". Lol.

For the most part all of the CNA's are wonderful. There are a few "bad apples", but most are very good.

Bathing/showering, dressing, tolieting, medication administration by a Nurse from the Nursing home are all part of what my Mom pays for and why the cost is so much more than regular assisted living. When we brought Mom here a year ago, they were doing all of this, but in the last six months, care of the residents has been lax. The 3 meals a day have improved though, after they received a bad grade from the Health Department!!!! There have been some medication errors also, which I caught , and worries me constantly.

We are looking at a newly opened facility dedicated exclusively to dementia/alzheimer's residents. I have heard good reviews this one is top notch with individualized care plans for each resident, nurse follow-up meetings, many more activities designed specifically with the resident's likes, dislikes, and abilities. Am keeping my fingers crossed and will let you know how it goes.

The good news is looks like the Nurse/Supervisor I complained to finally got the message, as when I picked my Mom up on Saturday to go out to dinner, her hair had been shampooed and she was clean. It's a good thing as I had an appointment this week to see the Administrator (her boss). If she had not been bathed on Saturday, I had also planned to take her to my home and do it myself, which is not easy as all baths, showers are on the second floor. So, I am happy they had done it. I trim her fingernails and toenails frequently too.

Thanks again for listening.
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Very good insight, TheirDaughter. Thank you for sharing.
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