Mom won't stop spending money.

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My mom will buy things just for the sake of making the purchase! I have POA, but she refuses to give up her credit cards or bank card. She buys things she does not need and does not use and a lot is wasted food purchases. She gets mad when I tell her she does not need these items and is wasting money. Without taking her cards away, how can I get her to stop buying everything she sees!

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Rich, the other problem is the Terms and Conditions of Service for the website state that you are not supposed to promote your own business in postings.
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Or perhaps I should have just written that it's a different line of public interaction, since it's not a business line for you.
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Rich, I checked your website, which I thought was completely oriented toward the apparent primary business of providing props for commercial activities and entertainment venues. I'm curious how you developed the "sideline" of advising nursing homes - that's quite a different business line.
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Rich in a controlled environment where the dementia resident does not have access to the outside world without being totally supervised then that sort of money is not an issue I imagine. However in the outside world where people with dementia can and do still go out (because in the early stages they can and do) then it could be really problematic. Let me give you an example of things that can happen and did with a woman who has now passed but was a friend of Mums.

She went to the ATM and had no problem at all remembering her pin. However she gave the money she got out to the nearest passer by. Now in the UK she is limited to how much she can withdraw and thankfully it was only 300 pounds (about 450 dollars)

She then went shopping but didn't have any cash and caused such a fuss because she couldn't understand who had stolen her money (the same money she gave away) that the store called the police for her. At this point no-one in the store realised she had dementia.

Can you imagine what would have happened if she had tried to use prop money in that same situation? How upset she would have been to find that she didn't have real money - if she could understand that?

So while your idea for nursing homes might be fine it isn't for the people who are still somewhat integrated with the outside world as we know it.

I absolutely understand where you are coming from but its not a route I would opt for because it could cause more problems than it solves
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Hi. I own the prop money company. I was a bit offended it was deleted. We get calls from nursing homes regularly asking what to do when family members with dementia loose money or give it away to strangers.

I have literally given the prop money away to help. I know families that have suffered through it. We havr literally given it away for free to help people.

I was trying to be helpful. If that somehow offended you, I cant imagine why.

You might not know who we are, but i am the owner and President. We are the folks who make the props for most of the shows you see on TV and in thr movie theatre.

I occassionally go on this site to help folks with dementia. If they feel like they have some degree of control over their live, abd they they have a sense of pride, yhen i know we did the right thing to help a family in need

Sincerely

Rich RJ R.
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Yeeessss!
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Anyone notice that Prop's post has been deleted?

Thank you, Admins!
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You have to be careful with regard to donations - really careful. If your LO always gave 10k to the local charity all well and good. If not then was it reasonable for you to allow it (if they have mental capacity issues that is).

I have had serious words with our local church over much smaller amount but in terms of what she usually gave was about 8 times what was the norm. We have reached an agreement. I will donate the money on her behalf when it is donation time and they will give me a receipt

In return I won't contact the police to contend that they are harassing her and demanding money from someone incapable of making that level of financial decisions.

How did I come to that conclusion. Well nothing is simple and Mum got right up on her high horse and told me she would do what she wanted and I was only after her money - I didn't tell her I could access what I wanted any time I wanted but DONT. Eventually when she calmed down we had a fun quiz - I showed her pictures of things and she had to put a price on them - she could have a sweet for every one she got right - (she could have them anyway but this made it more fun)

It was an interesting little game. Mum hadn't got a clue about money - While she knew the picture of the apartment would mean a lot of money she put £1000 on it instead of 200k

She knew a stairlift was expensive and put a value of £100 on it instead of 3-5k for the one I showed her

But when I showed her a picture of a holiday advert to USA she put a value of 20k on it

Weekly groceries? £5

A carton of milk in your money about 10 cents

A car? £100

Yet when I asked her about flowers she was spot on, when she saw chocolate spot on, when I asked her about cake again almost exact.

So don't think they actually know the values of money - test it for yourself.

We have also played another game using monopoly money funnily enough. We play shop and I give her the money and she has to give me change. Now my mum used to be a bank manager but now she cannot do that simple sum so I really do KNOW that I have to take control
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Pamzimmrt I am yet to receive

She luckily only donates to St Judes!

Darn I forgot I am Ms not St - Oh well
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Just charge those slippers to my account, would ya?
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