Husband with dementia in denial.

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Tell us more! I have a father in denial as well. Dementia is a "wide" term and there are lots of mental illness diagnoses under the umbrella of dementia. What are his issues, what is his behavior like? How are they affecting his live and just as important, how is it affecting YOUR life? Is he on any meds?

My brother diagnose with Dementia and is in denial. life is not the same for him, and us his siblings. he needs help but follow instructions. he gets angry sometimes when being help, he thinks he can still do daily activity normally, but he can't anymore. He has an income of $4,289.00 monthly and his private home. He lives with my brother, his home is rented to cover its expense. With his assets, would he be able to get medicaid to have a 24/7 home care. presently he needs 24/7 help. how can we go about to get such help. Thank you.
Medicaid has an income allowance of $2022.00 per month. They also do have some Assisted Living Communities, but be aware you brother must have a prescription from the doctor to get in.

If they will provide a caregiver it is usually only a couple of hours per day, and they would most likely put a lien on his house.
No diagnosed dementia in my parents, but what I hear from everyone who deals with it is that denial pretty much goes with the territory. Anyone who starts to lose mental or physical capacity clings, inwardly or outwardly, to the belief they will "get over it" as if it were a flu.
My husband has somewhat accepted that his memory isn't "right" but that is about as far as he will go. He allows me to drive because he knows I am afraid of his driving and his doctor told him it was dangerous for him to. He is taking Aricept and Seroquel and that has calmed his anger spells but not stopped them completely. He is not repeating himself as he did but he does still get lost near home and forgets what day/date it is. I purchased a wall clock that tells the day/date/temp & time for his bathroom, he tells me this clock has help him a lot. Other than these things, he seems to be doing well at this time.
vincent23 - $4,300 per month is a very substantial income for a retired person. Depending upon where you live, your father would probably have a number of Al communities to choose from with his income and assets (his house). Or, he can afford to have help come in to his home on a scheduled basis. Medicaid coverage of nursing care is reserved for indigent seniors.

Geri41 - Whether he's in denial about it doesn't matter so much as it being diagnosed and you gearing up to handle it. Involve his doctor.
I know folks who have severe dementia who, if asked, MIGHT admit they SOMETIMES have trouble remembering things. Being able to accurately self-assess is one of the first skills that goes.
My husband is also in denial about his physical abilities. Not sure about his mental state! Seems deminta can be very sutle. Sometimes i do wonder if he doesn.t have bit of it.
Geri, I say whats wrong with denial, let him think what he wants if it makes him feel better. When my Mom started to lose her memory and I would say "you already asked me that" it really upset her. I started to say "sometimes if you forget things and I will remember them for you ok, but when I forget please remind me?" and she would laugh!! Hey we all forget things." She said that I always made her feel "So Good" and now that she cannot talk, I cherish those memories.You are only in the beginning stages and why stick in his mind something is wrong. Have him medically checked for b12 (memory loss) etc and if he is starting dementia, I would say to roll with the waves and make him as happy as he can be. No one wants to think tey are losing their mind, think about it, thats so scary. At a support group I attended years ago with the Alzheimers Association they told us to treat the loved one as if they are the customer and that "The customer is always right." It was the best advice I ever got and worked like a charm. Just my thoughts... Good luck!
Reverseroles is right on target. There is no reason for a person with dementia to be told he/she has it. Why make them feel bad? If they forget something, just remind them . Have LOTS of patience. Write notes and put them where they'll be seen. My husband can't remember our address or phone number. I used large marking pens and wrote them for him. Suggestion: buy a "dry eraser" bulletin board (Amazon carries them). They stick on the wall and can be moved. Put reminders on it for your loved ones. Be kind. Smile a lot. Don't criticize. Praise !
Sending you hugs!!! Chonie
I'd suggest also, make a list of any medications and all doctor contact info along with any other contact info for him/her to go in their wallet/purse. If they get lost or in an accident it could be valuable to any one trying to help. Also keep a list on the refrigerator so it's handy for you in case of emergency. Sometimes you get too excited to remember what is where and who takes what meds & how often. Blessings! Judy

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