Mother tries to be "independent." She won't listen when I tell her to use her walker.

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I have posted about this before -- that my mother was saying she wanted to see how she does without her walker. Well, I think we finally convinced her not to play around and to just use it. This week, she was saying she would like to go back to using the toilet without the commode over it. The commode is there to give her extra support. Her bathroom does have grab bars -- there's one by the toilet. And the vanity is right there. But I think her idea is dumb. So we had to have some back and forth about it, and I said, well just leave it there for now, and she said, well think about removing it later. The home health aide (non-medical) was there tonight. I hope Mother didn't try to talk her into removing it. Though I don't think the lady would play around like that without my permission. I just hate how my mother is always trying to push the issue. It makes me want to say mean things. I mean really, for YEARS she should have been using a walker or a cane and she refused. So finally -- no one was surprised -- she fell and broke her hip. While she IS doing a lot better, I just don't see the point in cutting back on safety. Any thoughts?


Of course she's trying to be independent. Put yourself in her shoes - she is losing everything she valued and facing her mortality, and people are treating her like an infant who can't be trusted. My mother is going through the same thing. She's lost her driver's license, has to use a walker or cane and commode and broke her hip in September. It bothers me when I see her not using the walker in the house (she will use it when she's out all the time) but I have to trust her to know her limitations. She is still going to physical therapy and they are working on strength and balance - is that something that your mother could benefit from?
"Mom, I want to see you be as independent as you can be, as long as you can. Another fall would REALLY limit your independence, so let's try to do everything we can to prevent falling. I'd hate to see you lose any more ground in your ability to take care of yourself."

Be on her side. Emphasize the need to use safety aides now to prevent loss of independence later.
Eguillot, she was in physical therapy (home visits) -- Medicare only pays so long. Jeanne -- yes, I'll try to say that to her nicely. It was really great when physical therapy, nurses and OT were coming over to back me up on stuff like this -- and they were so nice about the way they said it

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