Elderly mother stays in bed all day and sleeps all day--I am very concerned!

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Over the past two days my mother has been in constant pain and sleeps practically all day, When she does sit up I have to lift her so that she can stand. In my case I am an adult only child. I need A LOT of support.


It sounds like your Mom needs a visit to the doctor. My Mom was sleeping a lot when she had a very bad bladder infection which she did not complain about. She ended up in the hospital when it escalated to a high fever. With antibiotics and fluids through an IV she was able to return to her more cheerful self. Bladder infections by the way, are a very common problem among elderly women with all sorts of different symptoms.
Thank you very much Sparrow, she refuses to see the doctor.
That's a hard one, I found when I said we were going to do something firmly but with love I could get my Mom to take a shower, go for a little walk, etc. She would acquiesce maybe with a comment but afterwards would say she liked it. Without talking to my Mom like a child I sort of feel she responds to being nurtured in that way. Have you tried Visiting Nurses, they have been wonderful in so many ways.
What kind of pain does she have? How old is she? Are there other symptoms besides sleeping all day and being in pain? It may be that she is depressed or has another physical problem. After going through this with my father, I would say to make an appointment with her doctor and make her go. Elders often don't want to go to the doctor for a couple of reasons: it means they have to get up and out, and they are afraid of losing their independence. These are not good enough reasons, since it keeps them from improving and creates an unfair burden for you, the cg. If she says no to the doctor, tell her the other option is a NH. You can call a social worker to do an in-home assessment of her needs.

I wish I had been stronger in making my father go to the doctor. He had PAD and went through a lot of leg pain that could have been helped if we had known what was wrong. He was a very difficult "patient." He just wanted to die. I respect that decision, but he was taking his cgs with him -- very unfair to my mother and me.
To Sparrow: I am considering VNS.

To Jessie Belle: These things just started happening about two days ago with the exception of the hemoglobin count..
When she *does* sit up her nose runs like a faucet and I literally have to hoist her up to standup. She has neck, shoulder, elbow, knee and ankle pain, Hemoglobin was 9.1 at last count. Doc said mother had low Vitamin D levels and prescribed 50,000 i.u for her to take once a week for eight weeks, in addition she is taking multivitamins and she includes green leafy vegetables and beets and other fruits and veggies in her diet. She was also diagnosed with osteoarthritis, the cold weather we are having now definately does not help.
Please keep the input coming, I really APPRECIATE it.
I don't see any help without a medical diagnosis. Perhaps you can start with a call to the clinic to describe the new symptoms. No doubt they'll want her to come in. Maybe if she gets a call directly from the clinic that would help motivate her.
Dear onelove5623,
Is Mom on morphine for the pain? My Mom slept most of the day too cause of pain and the morphine put her to sleep. But addressing the pain was what was needed. And we found out that her bladder/stomach was so distended and hard. Urine had accumulated in there so that even when she moved a little, she was in excruciating pain. Finally, had to place her in hospice and the first thing they did was catheterize her and the whole bag filled with the brownest urine that I ever saw. So, out of pain from that. But she still takes morphine for the terminal cancer. Get Mom to the doctor to diagnose why she's in so much pain. You did not say where the pain was or if she's on pain meds. But sleeping all day isn't normal unless she's at hospice and is at "d" door.
Update. My mom passed away in March 2013. Sorry I took so
Long to reply. I was just trying to process this. Hope you all are doing well

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