My Mother gets me in trouble with other people then the police come--HELP me! what do I do???

Started by


My mother has dementia. When she goes into her spells she tells people I'm Evel she don't trust me! I'm hurt and sad and confused what do I do I can't take this anymore!!! Then in about 1 hour she says im sorry I didnt even know I said those things. But I'm mad and resentful I'm crying while I'm writing this I never knew this kind of sickness exist and happen in a life time I hate it I wish I never known about this sickness and that what it is (Mental sickness) no one should have to deal with it! My god if there is one help us or me! I cant take this much more longer. Theses people need special care NO one should have to deal with this only special care people that are trained should deal with theses people!!! It is not right and insane! I did the best I could and I am failing.....I wish I was dead.
I feel you. Ive been through the same situation and was told a lot of caregivers for dementia patients experience the same things so you are not alone. I know it is hard for I too was beside myself when it happened to me. I gave up my life to care for my mom too. My job I no longer have, my family is now compromised with the time for my mom so yeah sometimes I feel like I was dead too. But what to do????? I havent found the answer. I just love on my mom and remember it is part of her sickness. That is hard too. Im so sorry that you are going through this but just know that You are not alone. I dont have any answers because I dont know if one exsists but I am praying for you AND me. God Help Us All
Lightedpumkin- Your post is disstressing to me. I am new here and do not want to step on toes but you sound very desperate . If you are truly feeling suicidal I think you should call someone to help you. If you do not have a friend or family member to call you need to call 911 or at least a suicide hotline.
I hope you are just venting and do not truly wish you were dead. I know this is a great place to vent as I have been reading posts the last few days. So I hope that is what you are doing. But if you feel very out of control you should call someone, I think.
As for your mother saying you are evil you know that that is the disease talking and not her. I am in the beginning stages of taking care of my mother who has had a brain stem stroke , dementia and diagnosed OCD( she has been OCD most of her life) but I have a 16 year old with a genetic syndrome that results in mental retardation and many behavioral problems. She hits me, pushes me and spits on me all the time and she tells me she hates me. So I do understand about being hurt by ones you love. She does these things when she is mad and because she cannot communicate the way she wants and I know this but it is still hard. I have had to train myself not to take it personally. I have had to learn how to not react poorly to her behavior but stay calm. I say things to myself like "this does not have to ruin my day" and I make sure to have a nice activity planned that I can look forward to each day -even if it is only for a few minutes- like playing my spider solitaire or reading some of my favorite book-simple but something that I know I can look forward to so that in times of extreme stress I can think 'this is hard right now but later I will have time to .... '
You said that you have failed. I sincerely doubt that is true! All we can do is try our best!!! Sometimes our best is saying " I am no longer capable of handling this " and I think that is a very noble decision. If you are not able to take care of your mother anymore it does not mean you are failing- it means your mother needs professional help.
I hope you are ok. I hope you find help. I will keep you in my prayers.
I'm lightedpumken the one that wrote the head line. I want to thank you ALL so much from the bottom of my soul for all your support and answers you have given me in return! You made me happy made my night I feel better. I'll get over it. I do love life and it's people like you that get me through! I thank you all! Hugs! Sheba

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support