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The nurse came yesterday..put a foley cath in mom since she kept thinking she needs to potty. I was worried mom is so weak. She needs to rest so this will help with her being able to rest completely. The nurse came and assessed mom she says it will be just be a matter of days..one week.
Mom got up last night actually stood up for the first time in a month..said she needs to go. "I said where mom?" and she starts picking up the bedding as to take it with her. " they are waiting for me and I'm going with them" I tell her "mom, lets rest first." She says to me..."are you coming too?" I said "sure, mom but first we rest, they will come back in the morning."
I guess the nurse said this is common too..they will have a surge of energy. I pray for peace. I hope this is over soon.

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Thanks everyone..its getting better each day. My head is not heavy nor is my heart. The sun it shining today...beautiful. My sister Donna and I met with the funeral director to get things set. I felt pretty good. Didn't cry and we talked about mom and how wonderful of a mom she was. She will be cremated and come spring she will be place in a niche next to my oldest sister and father at Hillcrest Mausoleum in Wenatchee. I have a majority of my family there so we will have a celebration of her life then. Thats what mom wanted...she didn't want a funeral because funerals are so depressing. I'm so glad she decided not to. I love the idea of spring, sun and family. That's they way everyone feels. Today is a good day. God Bless you all.
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Ms. Daisy - I say to you - you are one heck of a compassionate, loving, daughter and caregiver. Your mother left in peace, and she would be very upset if you grieved her too much. She looks down on you from now on from heaven, and know that she is with angels.

May god send his holy spirit down upon you and protect you. You are an angel among angels on this forum. Thank you for your reflections, prayers and kind words.
Remember - this is a beautiful sadness. Take it day by day. And also you need to be very very kind to your soul and body in the coming days -- it is very fragile and must be nurtured.

Love,

Patty
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Mdaizy ...your last post made me think about something, that, I tend to forget, due to frustration, or, at times, impatience, or just pure exhaustion...n that's the phone calls I get from my dad, everyday...between 8-10 times, a day....but then, there are moments, like now, that I know his voice, will one day, fall silent, n I, too, will miss his voice...thanku for bringing me back to center. One day, you will be back, in the loving arms of your mother, while God looks you in the eye n says, "Well done, good n faithful daughter." What a glorious day, that will be....Always praying for you, msdaizy.... Continued strength n peace in the coming days, months, n years.....Many blessings, friend.......Beck
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My heart is sad with you. After 17 mos I still refer to that end of my house as my mom's bedroom and bathroom. You will get peace from knowing you have no regrets. Hugs to you, MsDaizy.
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The hospital bed and all the other equipment has been taken out of my home. It's seems so weird. I walk into the room and it's a little empty. just as my heart is a little empty inside. Like someone has just punched a hole in it. I can't believe that I am now parentless. When mom lived on her own, I called her twice a day. We talked about nothing! I would give anything to hear her voice just one more time. Today I was strong..now I feel a lump in my throat and my head is starting to pound again. I need to cry..but the tears won't come. It's so hard....the wound is still fresh...time will heal.
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It took almost a year for me to be able to walk into my dad's room and not start sobbing. Now I go in and say hi, dad and start to fill him in on what's been happening lately. His room was where I felt close to him when he was critically ill in the hospital and so still makes me feel close to him. I miss him so much but also am finally able to know he's where he should be. You will go back and forth for awhile and it's all ok - we all have to experience it for ourselves in our own way in our own time. Let yourself cry, let yourself laugh, but always, always remind yourself that you did what alot are not able to and you did it out of love. Peace be with you, Kuli
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Keeping you in my prayers. God bless.
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Loridtabbykat ...that was beautiful. Thank you so much ... Today is better one day away from her being gone. I have been reading inserts of my journal and sharing a little bit of what I experienced with my sister over the phone. She lives a mere 600 miles away. I feel fortunate that I recorded many of mom's escapades because now I can look back at some of the times we had here together. I highly recommend anyone that is a caregiver or even if you are not, keep a journal and use it for good or bad memories , things to be thankful for, or even prayer requests. The journal was my life line during the struggles...and I now have that to share with my siblings. Mom wasn't completely mom with the Dementia but some days she showed herself a little. Like I said today I am strong...ready for what ever comes next. I keep you all in my prayers...God bless you all.
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There's nothing I can do or say to take away your pain, but if there were I'd do it so not a tear remains. I know how much you're hurting and I know that you have cried. I know the emptiness you feel without your Mom by your side. It's hard to lose a parent and it's so hard to understand, when apart of you is taken away with all the times that you had planned. Life can be unfair at times, but this I know is true. When God takes away a soul, the memories stay with you. That's why at night when you're alone and a memory comes to mind, let it through and remember-God's not the hurting kind. He send it back so you will know that your Mom is okay. She's healed now. His strength is back and she's not that far away. You can close your eyes and see her face or if you listen with your ears, you'll still hear her voice within your head so you'll know that she's still near. It's like she's in another room and she's calling out to you. Enjoy the memories God has given. They're there to help you through. God loves you, Friend. Don't ever doubt one day you will unite. Keep looking up! You're not alone. You're always in God's sight.
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i send u prayers,
its the space she took up that is empty now, that can hurt so much-
she will never be far away from you-
she loves u and so do we-
im sorry
love
k
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May you find the peace and joy that you so richly deserve.
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Debra, you have been through it all, now it is final closure. I am sure that this experience has immeasurabley changed you and now is the time to finally let go and grab ahold of the promise of your new life that lies ahead. I pray for you and your mom, there is release and ease in sight, sounds like your mom has found her way back to where she came from and it is really a joyous thing.
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Msdaizy....throughout this journey, you have honored your beautiful mother with
such love, compassion, patience, and the most beautiful n profound grace.....that I can feel it through the screen... Your mothers passing to the arms of Jesus, I'm sure, was gentle and filled with love....it will take time for you to adjust to life, without her physical body, but, you know as well as many of us do....our loved ones never, really leave us.....with that known....I pray for you, comfort n eventually...peace....God Bless You .....much love.....Beck
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(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) - I know it will be like this for a while, and you will always miss her, but it will ease in time.
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I miss her so much..its so painful to walk in her room.
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Prayers of love and comfort for you and your family... sending you hugs.
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Sending you love, love, love.
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Prayers of comfort for you and your family.
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My mom bless her heart...is wrapped in the loving arms of Jesus this morning. She was fighter in the very end but Jesus took her home at 1:05 this morning. l already miss her...but I know she is in a better place.
Thanks for all the prayers this week. It was a tough thing to endure but my sisters and I were there with her the whole time. God bless you all.
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Msdaizy....you're on my mind, in my heart, n prayers...I pray your mothers passing continues to be peaceful, until she reaches home.....love n blessings
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I'm with the two of you. I was laying in bed hoping to get a good nite's rest and all of a sudden I had an anxiety attack. Started hyperventalting. It hit me like a ton of bricks that my mom is really gone. I ran down to her room and grabbed her pink night jacket, just to smell her again. I laid on her bed and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. It has been one week today that she passed away. I had to keep thinking positive things, then I decided to check in here. We all have something in common, and just knowing I'm not the only one going through this helps. Somehow we will get the strengths our mothers had. Msdaizy, your mom and mine apparently came from the same "stock". Hang in there.
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Thank you blackcat for sharing your story. I know her time is close...she is so peaceful and starting to breathe more shallow. My two sisters are here with her and the nurse told us to hold her hand up and not enclose your hand over the top as if you are holding her back but lay her hand on top of yours petting her hand and lifting it in the air at a angle, as to release them. She looks so much more at peace now than she has this whole process. Thanks for you thoughts and prayers.
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They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies. William Penn

I wish I could reach through this computer and just hold your hand.
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Ms. Daisy -- that is a typo. The Hospice house calls it a "beautiful sadness". My typo. Isn't that a beautiful phrase? I will never forget it.

God bless you.
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Ms. Daisy -- I do believe my mom and your mom must have been twins in a former life.

My mom died last Thursday. She went without food for 10 days and without water for over 5 days. She just kept on and kept on. Like your mom, she went from here (home) where I was primary caretaker, through a huge shitstorm of a crisis, switched hospice providers, was admitted 2 days before Christmas to a hospice house for respite for me and to get her more comfortable (long story)...and then to a rehab center to finish out her life. I gave all I could for as long as I could and then one day I woke up and said "I can't do this anymore. I'm done".

After that, angels took over. The Hospice house was like a peaceful heaven for her and for me. They gave her a quilt for xmas and I got a stuffed Santa. They fed me a wonderful Christmas dinner. And in return, I weeded their courtyard. My mom left there and transferred to a rehab center she had been at over the summer, and they welcomed her back as if she was everyone's "nana". They absolutely loved on her, and carried out hospice's orders to the Tee, each and every hour. I do believe my mom knew she was there, knew her favorite CA when he crawled into her bed and held her while crying for her -- she opened her eyes and said "Hi Ed!" and that was the last sensible thing she said. I think she decided she could leave when she realized that she was not going home again. I think she was greatly distressed by the strain the caregiving was putting on me and was actually content to be comfortable, with friends and that she could let go.

She passed quietly Thursday morning.
I returned to work today. I told my coworkers again and again that I know their prayers worked -- because angels came to me again and again and helped me and my mom out.

Ironically, or not, 3 people in my department at work lost their mom's over the holidays. All three of us were the primary caretakers. All of us left work on leave when things got bad. All of us watched our mothers peacefully leave the world under the watchful eyes of hospice nurses.

Your mom wil be joining these three fine ladies soon.

It will be a peaceful sadness. That's what they called it at the Hospice House. I like that. Peace be upon you, peace be to your family, and peace to your beautiful mother.
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Prayers for you Msdaizy, of comfort and God's arms around you and your family... I am thinking of you and praying for a peaceful passage for your mom... sending lots of hugs...
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Thank you all...yes we are still here. I cannot believe the fight my little momma has in her. Bless her heart. My sisters, husband and brother in law and myself have been vigil at her side. We thought at 11 pm last night it was it...I have not been to bed yet for two days. I hope it wont be much longer ...her breathing is more shallow and slowing down. They think we are getting closer to her entering the gates of heaven.
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im sending u good energy-it is so painful to watch-but i believe she knows u r there, and that u love her and when its time, she will always be with you-
im sorry for this torture at the end of this life-rips your insides, u both r lucky to have had eachother-
i cry and pray for u-
and send u support and love-
k
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Hang in there Debbie, take care of yourself.
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mzdaisy, your posts are enough to keep anyone motivated and in the here and now!
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